The Miracle of Little Bug (in a nutshell)
Every single pregnancy test was stark white.
After six months of trying, we made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist.
We underwent three cycles of IUI (four if you count the cancelled cycle). Not one of them resulted in a pregnancy.
Our hearts were broken. We were weary in every way imaginable, but we clung to the promise of God found in Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to bring you hope and a future."
It was there we found constant HOPE because we knew God had a plan. It obviously wasn’t our plan, but it was a plan that was going to prosper us and bring us hope and a future.
In November 2008, after the three failed IUIs, I had laparoscopic surgery. Stage 2 Endometriosis was found and excised.
During Christmas of 2008, we took a break from infertility treatments and prayed for a Christmas Miracle. Later, we learned God had given us a Christmas Miracle that very Christmas – we just were not aware of it until months later!
God opened our hearts to adoption that month.
After the New Year, we began preparations for our upcoming IVF cycle, thinking we would adopt after having (hopefully) one biological child.
March 8th, 2009, was by far the worst day of our journey through infertility. But even on that very dark day God was setting the stage for a miracle!
About eight days into the ovary stimulation process of IVF we had a doctor’s appointment where we learned only one follicle was growing and developing.
When our doctor told us that at most we could probably only expect 2-3 follicles to grow, even with IVF meds, I knew my dream to marry and get pregnant was dying.
The IVF cycle was cancelled and we began seeking the Lord as to what to do next.
Even as I lay on the examination table on March 8th, I knew God was leading us to adoption now, and not later, as I had planned.
Not quite ready to give up on my childhood dream of pregnancy and childbirth, I argued with God for a time.
In the end, I knew God was asking me to surrender my desires for His Will and to TRUST HIM.
So I began working on filling out our adoption paperwork. It took about 2-3 weeks to fill out the paperwork, gather the required documents from the agency and create our Family Profile.
On April 9th, 2009, I took all the paperwork to the adoption agency and handed them to the lawyer who told me, "We had an adoption fall through this week. The birth mom is due in June. If you would like a baby in June, you can have one!"
I left the office in awe of our faithful God.
On May 27th, 2009, forty-eight days after I walked into the adoption agency, I witnessed the birth of my daughter, Little Bug. As I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew I was holding a five pound, twelve ounce miracle from God.
My plans were not God’s Plans, but I soon learned God had plans that were far greater and far bigger than anything I could plan for myself.
I am not living my dreams. I am living the Something More God had planned for me since before I took my first breath and it is way more amazing than the plans I had for myself as a newlywed!
From the ups and downs of infertility treatments to the miraculous adoption of our baby girl, the posts on this blog serve to tell the world that there is a faithful God who is intricately involved in our lives.
We just have to decide to put our faith in Him and trust Him to turn our mourning into dancing.
If you feel like life is falling apart and nothing is going the way you thought it would or the way you planned, choose Christ!
Put your faith in Jesus Christ and discover the Something More He has for your life.
It will be better than your wildest dreams!
NOTE: You have just read the nutshell version of The Miracle of Little Bug. To read her story in greater detail, click on the posts located on the side bar of this blog. (COMING SOON!)
Labels: Our Journey So Far
13 People have left comments on this post
I love the title of this blog!!
I am your sister in Christ and I’ll be praying for both of you as you trust God and continue on your journey through IF.
This has indeed been an incredible journey we probably would not have chosen for our family. But our All Knowing God chose it for us and as you, we choose to walk by Faith and give Him all the Glory for the Great Things He has ALREADY done and will continue to do in your life as well as our lives. Your Mama and Daddy
I am so glad I found your blog. My husband and I have been trying for 18 months now as well and all our treatments have also failed. I felt so down, and needed some upliftment. I went to all the Christian book stores to find a book on Infertility and God, but found nothing. Your blog has made a huge impact on me! It makes me feel so much better knowing there are other people out there who understands what we are going through and can help give a Godly perspective on things. Thank You so much for putting your story out there!!
I know this is not an accident that I came across your blog. God led me. I'm a Filipino & currently living here in Saudi Arabia. My husband & I are also trying to conceive for 18 months now. I was truly inspired by your entries. Your sister in Christ- Hazel
Thank you for this blog, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 2 1/2 years… I've had my chare of good days and bad days, but little by little I've been learning to leave it all in God's hands. It's been really hard to loose control of the situation and just leave it in God's hands, I want to ask for your prayers so that God may guide me through the right path. So that He may let me know what comes next, what does He want us to do next? thank you, your sister in Christ, Angie :>
I just found your blog, and read your IVF story, and 'playing God' which I found so encouraging. I'm doing an IVF cycle right now (egg retrieval is tomorrow) and have a lot of comments about 'God's will' and whatnot from my family, which have been difficult for us to handle. Tank you for sharing your story… and your little bug is beautiful!
What a beautiful story you share with us about God's faithfulness.
Thank you for being a vessel of blessing for others.
God bless your Litle Bug and your beautiful family.
P.S. – Were you born in Brazil?
I have to tell you that your story brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing and reminding me that our plans are not always Gods plans. I am 26 and have been going though chemo treatments that could cause infertility. I am not married yet, as it is my desire and have been struggling with this possibility. I was given the opportunity to harvest my eggs before my medical condition got worse and chemo had to begin right away. I have never been so thankful in my life that I did not have to make that decision. This made me turn to God in a whole new way to find peace. I realized that my hearts desire to get married and have a family could still happen, maybe just not the way I thought. I have had to trust that the Lord will give me children be it a donor egg, adoption, or even the old fashioned way. I don't know God will regarding this yet but know that I am truly blessed by your story and will be praying for your family
I too thank you so much for sharing your story. It has been almost two years my husband and I have been battling infertility. We are now saving to attempt IVF(ICSI)treatment. We are open to adoption. I am a christian diligently seeking, delighting, and trusting in the Lord to not only lead me, but also reward me in giving me the desire of my heart. However, my heart has always desired to bear my own fruit. I am a labor and delivery nurse and see/hear the miracle of life 5 days a week. My question is, how does your heart release that desire to have a biological child you have carried in your womb?
You blog has helped me deal with some very bad days. One thing that really struck me was the part when you talked about grieveing for what what not going to be, and then moving on. I think I was just stuck in the grieveing part and having a hard time moving on. Thanks for all that you have said and congratulations on your beautiful adoption story!
I believe that GOD led me to this website for some reasons. Yesterday, I got the news from doc office that I am not pregnant and I was devastated! My husband and I have been trying naturally for 8 years and recently we seek help from infertility specialist. Our first try had to be cancelled prematurely due to my response to the drugs. The second trial proved to be unsuccessful… I have been crying since yesterday and calling out to GOD – asking HIM why??? I am angry with myself, my husband and felt let down…. so many of my friends and colleagues are getting pregnant left and right, why not me? Am I asking too much for just a healthy baby to call our own?
Thank you so much for sharing your story…I'm just getting prepared to begin my very first and I pray my only bout of IVF (ICSI). I too have been crying out to God for answers as to why everyone else can just "get pregnant" and I have been trying foe almost three years without success. But what I've realized is that just like you said… God has an ultimate plan for each of our lives and someone else's path may not be for you. So now I'm leaning totally on Him. Throughout my entire journey in all my research and all my prayers and in all my quest for answers God has said to me that there are some things that only He can do and getting pregnant is one of those things ( at least for me)… so thank you again… your story has been a real inspiration to me.
Wow, you were married four months after me, (I was married Feb.2007)and you are already blessed to be a mother. It make me think, where has all the time flown? And I am much older than you-37years. I have been on IF journey about 1.5 years but not able to start IVF due to my chronic neck issues. But now we will be moving forward as I am not getting younger to try to have biological kids. Please lift prayers.