I thought it only appropriate to think back on the events of the past year since it was a year ago, this month, we first started trying to conceive. If you wish to go down “Memory Lane” with me…read on!
August 2007 … Life was good! Married three months ago, Dave and I decided this month would be a good time to start trying to conceive. I had read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and hoped, Lord willing, by at least December of that year, we would have wonderful news to share with our family and friends!
September 20, 2007 … In the wee hours of that morning, I got up knowing it was the first day I could take a pregnancy test. The past two-weeks or so had been spent daydreaming about how I would share the news with my family and friends. I did the test, took it into the closet so the light wouldn’t wake Dave up and waited the three minutes to hopefully see the two pink lines. There was only one. Not pregnant this month. There is always next month.
This process repeated itself four more times. Each month, I was so hopeful this would be the month. But each month my dreams died. But I’d always tell myself, “There is always next month.”
December came and went and there was still always only one pink line instead of two. I was hoping to be able to tell my family on Christmas Day we were pregnant. But instead, a few days before Christmas Day I tested and there was one pink line. Then on Christmas Day the test was confirmed negative when my period arrived.
By January we had been trying for six months and I knew something wasn’t quite right. The book I mentioned above said if you don’t conceive within six months of using the methods taught in the book, go see a doctor.
February of 2008 I went to see a holistic OB-GYN. Blood work was done on me and a semen analysis for Dave. When the results of those came back we were told it wouldn’t hurt to see a fertility specialist.
March 12, 2008 … We had our first meeting with Dr. L.
The rest of March and April were spent undergoing these tests and then waiting for results.
March is also when I started this blog. When life doesn’t go as you plan, I’ve learned it’s because God is up to something far greater than the issue at hand. I knew God was going to use these circumstances in my life to bring glory to His name and I wanted someplace to document the Hand of God at work in my life. I also wanted a tool to allow family and friends to pray and walk through with us on this journey.
April 23, 2008 … All tests results had arrived back in the hands of Dr. L and we were to meet him again in his office to go over the results and then discuss a treatment plan.
Bracing myself for the worst of news, we left the office that day with news that was far from devestating. In reading other infertility blogs, I have read about people who have a doctor say there is nothing they can do with their own eggs and sperm – they will have to use donor eggs and sperm.
Our diagnosis was simple compared to a diagnosis like that. Because of my very mild case of polysistic ovaries and Dave’s mild low count/low motility, Dr. L suggested we do IUI (intrauterine insemination).
August 2008 … Life is still good. Would I choose this for myself? Absoultely not! I would not choose countless nights of crying and wondering, “When will it ever be MY turn?” I would not choose having to go through fertility treatments because they drain you physically and emotionally. I would not choose to feel this pain.
But I know my weaknesses are made perfect through God’s strength. I know the promise of Jeremiah 29:11. I know my life’s purpose is to bring glory to His Name. I know God has placed within me a great desire to mother many children. I know God is at work. And I know His People are praying.
And that brings me peace.