God’s Grace Is Sufficient – Yesterday, Today and Forever

**Written Saturday morning, Sept 27**

I do not think I am pregnant. And it is not because I haven’t felt any of the early pregnancy signs. It is also not because I am being pessimistic.

It is because God has taught me so much during last month’s resting cycle and during this IUI cycle.

God has taught me about Who He is – not just what He can do.

From the very start of this journey, I have never doubted that God could allow conception to happen – if He wanted. This comes from a firm belief that it is God and God alone that allows conception to happen. Couples may spend months trying to conceive but ultimately it is God that makes it happen.

So when month after month went by with no conception for me it became very easy to ask God why. Especially, when I knew and believed with all my heart that He alone had the power to make it happen. So why aren’t you, God? Why? It’s not fair. Look at all the people around me that so easily get pregnant. All I want is to be a mother!

That was my heart’s cry for many months.

And then God told me to STOP and BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD.

And it was then that God began teaching me about who He is.

God is a God that loves me with an everlasting love, an eternal love. He is my creator and He has created me just the way he wants me. He knows the number of hairs on my head. And He knows my days before one of them was ever lived.

God is a God who deserves all glory and praise.

Mix these two ingredients together and you get a God who, out of His love for us, desires that our lives paint a beautiful picture of His majesty and glory.

Scripture warns us that in this world we will have troubles. But we are to take heart, knowing God has overcome the world.

Hence, infertility troubles.

And God has indeed overcome these troubles for me – and I haven’t even seen 2 pink lines yet!

God has taught me who He is. And what He can do is really only because of who He is.

God is a God who has a plan for my life that only He can orchestrate.

**Written Sunday morning, Sept. 28**

He is orchestrating this plan even today.

I woke up this morning and took my temperature like I do every morning. My temperature had significantly dropped signifying that sometime soon, probably before the day’s end, my period will start.

Just like cycle 1 and 2, cycle 3 did not result in a pregnancy. However, there is a purpose in everything. And I believe the purpose of cycle 3 was not pregnancy but perspective.

The miracle of today is not a baby growing inside of me. It is something far greater. Today, I lack nothing. Because today I have everything God intended for me to have. He never intended for cycle 3 to be successful.

He intended to teach me who He is. And He has done just that.

So on this 15th cycle of desiring greatly to be pregnant but finding out once again I am not, it is time to put my faith to action and live believing what God has taught me.

If God could mail me a letter I think it would say:

Dear Elaine,

I know today’s news greatly disappoints you. But please trust me. I am at work orchestrating a beautiful plan for you that is far greater than finding out today you are pregnant.

I love you,

Jesus

Today there are tears but there will not be fits of rage because God is a God of marvelous planning. Today I choose to trust in the Lord and know that faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

God’s Grace is sufficient for me.

PS: I can’t make myself pick up the phone to call people to break the news. So I’m just going to let this post do it for me. Hope you can understand that.

9 thoughts on “God’s Grace Is Sufficient – Yesterday, Today and Forever

  1. hThat is so powerful and sooo very true!! We just have to take a step back and believe in God’s plan for us! He knows that he is orchestrating a wonderful plan for us and all we have to do is believe in him!!! Have a great Sunday!

  2. Well, I have talked to you all twice today so there is no real reason to write other than to say to readers that I have seen my dear daughter grow in her walk with the Lord through this process.

    God does see all (he is El Roi) and knowing that He sees your heart and knows the pain you feel, I pray and ask Him to BE SUFFICIENT for you right now and forever.

    I can’t wait to see what God is going to do with your life and marriage. Actually, he is already doing amazing things through you and Dave. What a wonderful team you are!

    Continue being faithful and God will continue to work His plan out in your life.

    I love you dearly, Mama

  3. Dear Elaine and Dave,

    My heart breaks and tears roll, as I read your entry. I thank God that HE is sufficient for all our needs. Over and over He has shown Himself to be sufficient in our lives. I thank God that He is sufficient for you both. May God confort your hearts and keep you in His peace.

  4. Sweet Elaine – what a beautiful post! Even while you are longing to have a baby growing inside you – God is growing something even more beautiful in your heart. A woman with a heart fully trusting in Him. Not only is that bringing glory to Him – fulfilling our very purpose for living, but it will make you the very best mother for the children God will one day entrust you and Dave with. Call when you can – I want to give you a hug! We are bathing you in prayer especially today and tomorrow.

  5. Joshua Chapter 1
    6 “Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

    I started to put some comments about the above verses but I realized how long it was going to be, so I put the comments on my blog. (blessednorma)

  6. as sad as we all are that you’re not pregnant this month, God is rejoicing at the woman you are…amazing and full of understanding. He has an amazing plan for your life and family and i can’t wait to watch it all unfold.

  7. Wow! My heart is breaking for you, yet, I feel the need to rejoice! I am amazed at how you’ve grown through this whole process. Your faithfulness is inspiring. I love you! There are no other words, just know that I’m here if you need someone to cry at, scream at, or just hug! You are in my prayers. Ashlie

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