God’s Grace will be Sufficient

I’ve had these thoughts rolling through my mind for several days now but haven’t been able to put them into words or answer a very tough question I have. I am going to attempt now.

On September 29th one of two scenarios will happen. Each scenario starts out the same.

I will get up and go to the doctor, have my blood drawn and drive back home. Then, Dave and I will start pressure washing our house to keep us busy while we await the news. That will work for awhile but soon I will begin to get extremely antsy from the suspense. I will just want to know – one way or the other. I will threaten to go to Wal-Mart and get my own test so I can know in 3 minutes if the nurse doesn’t call me within the hour!

And then my cell phone will ring.

It is at this point in the story that there will be a fork in the road and two very different outcomes.

If I hear, "You are pregnant!" on the other end of the phone there are no words to describe how I will feel. But I know I will be praising the Lord for this tremendous blessing! And then I will think about the shear joy it will be to tell my mom and dad. The excitement and joy I will see on their face will forever be imprinted in my mind.

And if I hear, "Sorry. You are not pregnant." on the other end of the phone, there will be another day of incessant crying and rages of anger.

Here is the tough question.

Does it have to be this way?

Instead of crying uncontrollably and being angry, why not celebrate the fact that God is still at work?

God has taught me so much in the past month or two.

  • God’s plan is not only good – but the ultimate best for me!
  • The purpose of my life is to bring glory and honor to Jesus Christ.
  • God brings trials in my life so He can draw me close to Him and bring glory to His Name.
  • If I surrender my will for God’s, I will receive His will for my life.
  • God has plans that far surpass anything I can even imagine.
  • God’s grace is sufficient.
  • Each day is a gift from God and He know every intricate detail of my days.
  • It is God Himself who has put this desire in my heart to be a mother – so He can use this desire to draw me close to Him as I trust Him to bless me with a baby.

I really feel like God is asking me, if I am not pregnant once again, to TRUST HIM IMEDDIATELY instead of going into a fit of rage and then deciding to trust Him.

When I say fit of rage I mean fit of rage. It is not a pretty sight. Finding out we are not pregnant is a very dark day at our house. Very dark.

But does it have to be???

I say I want to bring God glory in this. So does crying incessantly or shedding some tears (I am not naive to say that my goal here is no tears! I am human and I do want to be pregnant.) and then putting my mind, heart and soul into thinking about the truths God has taught me, bring God the most glory? 

I think the second brings God more glory. And I know that there is no way I, in my own strength, can possible do that. NO WAY. If it’s up to me we are going down the fits of rage path. But if indeed I hear the sentence with the not again, I can only trust that GOD’S GRACE WILL BE SUFFICENT.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.        2 Corinthians 12:9-10

7 thoughts on “God’s Grace will be Sufficient

  1. how crazy that i just posted on this a few days ago. i think that as time has gone on i have become better at accepting the bad news. i regret very much how i reacted many a months. but you’re right…you can’t do it on your own. our human nature is to react. God will pull you through if you only let him. i hope you know that your attitude about all this and your desire to bring Him glory is so inspiring to me. i’m so thankful that i found you.

  2. Good luck.

    I had an IUI as well last week and if no AF I test 10/1.

    I had two m/c in the last 7 months.

    I marvel in your faith in God. I have a tremdous faith as well and know God is guiding our steps.

  3. My heart … I don’t know if it hurts, breaks, is heavy … I can’t explain it. I do know that God’s Grace is Sufficient and He will walk you through Sept. 29 regardless of the outcome of “the Call”.

    Today at lunch I read about El Roi = The God who Sees! He does see. The chapter talked about Hagar. She bore a son to Abram at Sarai’s request and then was despised by her. God saw her pain. God sees your heart and your pain and he is still Elohim = The creator and He Will create Life in your womb. God is also The God Most High (El Elyon) and knows already if you are pregnant. He knows your future – try hard to just trust Him in it.

    It’s okay to cry and grieve in any situation if you need to.

    Regardless … we are here for you, we love you very much and are proud of you. Mama and Daddy

    PS. I am reading “Lord, I Want to Know You” by Kay Arthur about the Names of God. It is very good.

  4. Wow! I think just the fact alone that you can talk about either possibility, and accepting either, is truly from God. I can see how much you have grown closer to God through all of this, and that is amazing in itself. I will pray that whatever the outcome is, that you and Dave will be able to glorify God (maybe not immediately, but eventually.) We love you and are praying diligently for you. Love ya! Ashlie

  5. We put everything that I am feeling into words…it is amazing how alike we are:) thank you for writing with such passion and for prasiing God the way that you do. I know that you will be truly blessed!!!

  6. He is faithful who has promised and will bring it to pass. trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your part.
    It will come to pass

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