Tired of all the Drama

Today was one of those days where the burden of going through treatments just wears me down.

This cycle has been so different from the other three. So fast. And, consequently, more stressful than the others because everything that has had to come together for this cycle to happen, has had to come together in under a week!

Even though it has been very stressful on me, I have sensed the Hand of God on every aspect of this cycle…the oral drugs, the injections, the follicles and the sperm.

It’s all coming together and it looks like we will be inseminating again on Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning.

At the ultrasound this morning Dr. L said there is a 17mm and 11mm in the left ovary and a 13mm in the right ovary. I will have 2 more vials of menopur tonight to help that 13mm follicle hopefully do some more growing and catch up. Then tomorrow night I will have the hCG shot to induce ovulation.

Technically, this is not the results we were looking for for this cycle. This was supposed to be a megastimulation cycle with the hopes of having 3 or 4 follicles ovulate. Dr. L seems to think that with another day of menopur we’ll have 2 follicles ready to ovulate…even so, not the results I was hoping for.

But, you know, I think of the prayer I prayed on Day One of this cycle…

God, I give this cycle to you. You know everything that needs to come together. You know how many sperm and You know how many eggs. And this time I am going to come before you daily and pray my heart’s desire… that You would choose to let it happen this cycle. Because of everything You have taught me since August 4th, I can rest assured, knowing if You do not choose to let it happen, it is ok. You just have something better planned. Since August of 2007, this journey has been nothing but amazing. I stand waiting with great expectation of what You will do next. To God be the glory. Amen!

Two follicles must be enough!

I started thinking today, How in the world does anyone go through something like this without Christ? Talk about a feeling of hopelessness! Then I was thinking that just because I have Christ through this trial in my life doesn’t mean I won’t have days of frustration and tears…like today.

The difference is HOPE…hope in Jesus Christ. What a gift. What a precious gift.

I leave you with a picture of my “Faith Rocking Chair”. My mom is knitting, stitch by stitch, a “Faith Blanket” that we will wrap our baby in before even leaving the hospital. Yesterday, my neighbor was having a garage sale and this rocking chair was for sale. I bought it and now it sits in the bedroom that will one day be the nursery.


Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

One day I WILL rock my baby, swaddled in the “Faith Blanket”, in the “Faith Rocking Chair”!!


3 thoughts on “Tired of all the Drama

  1. i know how taxing all this is but you have one of the best attitudes of anyone i know. i’m praying God rewards your faithfulness this month.

  2. The faith blanket is half finished! It’s looking good. I had never knitted a blanket before and wouldn’t you know that Elaine and I both liked the hardest one in the booklet I had? I started to give up and crochet BUT, I couldn’t give up. Getting pregnant has not been easy on Elaine and Dave so why should I pick an easy blanket pattern? I persisted and figured it out and one day, Elaine and Dave, you will bring your baby home from the hospital wrapped in it AND sit and rock him/her in that FAITH Rocking Chair!

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