be still and know that I am God

I want to share something I wrote in my journal on March 6th – two days before March 8th, the day we learned my ovaries would most likely never respond well to even IVF fertility drugs.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately going back and reading previous posts in the blog and the personal journals I have kept throughout this time.

Here is the unedited version of what God laid on my heart and spoke to me on March 6th…

It is quiet. The girls are in bed, the dishes are washed and put away, the toys are cleaned up. All is quiet. So peaceful and quiet. I can feel God calling saying, “Just be still and know that I am God.”

Know that I (God) love you and created your very life for a purpose. And in order for your life’s purpose to be played out in the way I have planned since time even began, you must trust me and follow my leading. Know that I (God) have a plan for you concerning infertility and motherhood that is far greater than anything you, or anyone else on this earth, could plan for you.

Know that I (God) have placed this strong desire in your heart to be a mother to many children. I created and molded you that very way so that I (God) could take your deepest desire to be a mother, give you infertility and use your infertility to mold and shape your character and your dependency on me. I know once you are dependant on me and trust me with all your heart, it is then that I can bring about the fruition of the marvelous plan I have for your life.

Know that I (God) am with you wherever you go – even as you walk and climb the mountain of IVF. I am here. I travel with you. You are not alone, so do not be afraid. Take my Word and bind it to your heart so that when Satan tries to attack, you will have weapons against him.

And don’t forget for one moment … this battle is already won and you are the winner! Keep your eyes on Me and I will bring you through this valley so you will one day stand upon the mountaintop with Me.

I think it should be noted that it was exactly a week later (March 13) that Satan attacked me like he’s never attacked before.

I believe the message here is that God is at work, even when at the time we see no evidence of that.

6 thoughts on “be still and know that I am God

  1. WoW! That is so true how God wants us totally dependent upon Him. He has used infertility in a similar way in me. Praying for you and your little girl 🙂

  2. The timing of everything that has happened continues to amaze me.

    No wonder satan attacked you so vigorously around the mid of March.

    Thanks for sharing this journal entry. Love you, Mama

  3. This is so true. My mom and I were talking night before last about how we each had different circumstances where the Lord had spoken to us either through bible study or sermons and the very next days the situations arose and we failed miserably. Of course we had to repent and when we took the time to think about what had just happened we could see where the Lord had tried to prepare us BEFORE the attack but we weren’t aware.

    Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Hugs friend. I love you.

  4. Thank you for your prayers. I also prayed for you! I am sorry for the infertility that you are going through, and celebrating with you over the soon birth of your child!

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