It’s here again.

The anniversary of 3/8/09.

It’s a date that won’t ever go by without me remembering the events of that day.

It was the turning point of my journey through infertility.

It was the day that separated infertility treatments and adoption.

It was a devastating day for me.

It was the platform God used to perform a miracle …

The Miracle of Little Bug.

On that day, March 8, 2009, I didn’t know how I was going to make it past that day, but now, two years later, I look back on that day with thanksgiving in my heart.

If God had allowed that IVF cycle to produce more than just The Lone Ranger, or if God had prompted us to give IVF another try instead of turning in adoption paperwork a month and day later, I wouldn’t be the mother of this precious little girl.

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God knows what He is doing! I will be the first to admit that I questioned God on that day. Nothing made sense on March 8, 2009. Nothing.

There were tons of people praying during that IVF cycle. We had already gone through three failed IUIs. Four months prior, I had undergone surgery to remove endometriosis. My doctor had given me high hopes of finally achieving a pregnancy with this IVF cycle.

And then everything that could possibly have gone wrong, went wrong! I left the doctor’s office a total mess, totally clueless what God was doing and with my head filled with a million and one Why? questions.

And then, just when things couldn’t get any worse God was asking me to lay my desire for pregnancy at His feet and pursue adoption immediately.

What? Are you crazy, God? Don’t you know this has been my desire since I was a little girl? Surely, you are not serious about this?!?!

Oh, He was serious alright. I knew there was not going to be another try at IVF.

I praise God that He didn’t make me wait long to find out just what He was up too.

Twelve weeks later, instead of staring at a tiny, flickering heartbeat on an ultrasound screen, I was staring at this:

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Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

Staring at Little Bug’s tiny little face almost two years ago allowed me to see why I had to live 3/8/09.

Oh, God’s love for us is deeper and wider than our human minds will ever be able to fully comprehend!

I praise Him for this journey!

6 thoughts on “3/8/09

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this, I needed to read this today. All I have wanted my whole life is to be a mom, I’m still in grad school so we weren’t going to start trying till after January next year, but found out this past Friday that a biological child will not be possible for us (DH is not producing sperm, he has not been through tons of testing yet (will later when we can afford it) but 2 of his brothers have and have ben told there is nothing they can do). My heart is absolutly breaking but I am trying so hard to cling to God and Trust that He has a wonderful plan for us. We are already looking into adoption options. Your story really touched my heart and encouraged me in these dark days.

  2. So glad to be able to read your inspirational posts again. I am at a crossroads right now where hearing that everything is God’s will and plan is important for me to hear. Thank you, Elaine.

    ps Is it possible to become an invited reader to your blog? I was able to access it after a number of weeks because it was in my history, but am unable to access it otherwise. I would be very grateful.

  3. I’m sorry to pop in as a complete stranger but wanted to let you know that your blog touched my heart today:). My name is Sabrina and after 6 years of battling infertility my “day” is Friday, June 1st 2007; the day that we were told there is nothing we can do and biological children are not possible! Your articulate description of that moment was wonderful, thank you for sharing. After hearing that your mind does basically start falling very quickly down a hole of questioning & doubt. God is so Good though; after revealing embryo adoption to us a few months after that day we adopted 14 embryos in May 2008, and were pregnant August 2008 and gave birth to our beautiful daughter in May 2009. After having an unsuccessful transfer October 2010 all those questions seem to flood right back but sitting in rememberance that God is in control and his plan is perfect. Well thanks for letting me crash your blog and thanks for sharing your heart:). It was nice to “meet” you through your words & your story! Take Care!

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