My heart goes out to those of you going through infertility during this holiday season.
Going through infertility is hard enough, but then add on the Christmas holidays and I know it can seem like you are suffocating in the emotions another childless Christmas can bring.
Four Christmases ago, I can remember doing some last minute shopping at JC Penney’s with my mother. It was a couple days before Christmas. Dave and I had just started trying to conceive that August and a couple days ago I had learned that another cycle was going to come and go without me finding out we had achieved a pregnancy.
This month was particularly hard to take because it was right before Christmas and my dream of announcing a pregnancy on Christmas morning had been totally crushed.
I remember walking through that department store numb to the world. There was the hustle and bustle of last-minute Christmas shopping going on all around me, Christmas music playing in the background, beautiful Christmas decorations every where I looked, but inside it certainly didn’t feel like Christmas to me.
As hard as I tried the tears just started streaming down my face as we walked around the store. It was a pain I had not felt in my heart before then, a disappointment that was beyond anything I had ever experienced.
I was scared. I knew something was wrong and I was afraid I would never be pregnant.
Even though I am the mother of two precious girls, those emotions can never be forgotten. No, they are not on the forefront of my mind this Christmas Season, but I remember.
And I will always remember.
I just want to say to anyone reading this who is going through infertility this Christmas season that there is HOPE.
I know that the last thing you want to hear is that God has a plan and you are not forgotten, but that simple truth is your HOPE!
As I walked through that department store three years ago around this time, God had a plan. During those very hard times God desired for me to cling to Him and to His promises.
If you cling to Him, trusting Him to reveal His plan to you as well, you will not be disappointed!
The next Christmas we were still childless, but Little Bug was a tiny fetus growing in the womb of her birth mother.
Then, two Christmases later, this story came full-circle as God granted me one the desires of my heart: to make a pregnancy announcement to my family on Christmas morning.
A year ago I held a secret that only my husband knew. Our second child was on the way and I could not wait to tell my family on Christmas morning!
This Christmas as you are waiting for God to reveal His plan to you, rest in His promises.
And know that someone who has been there and felt the kind of pain you feel today is thinking and praying for you this Christmas.