Today is April 20th, 2012. I’ve always liked the date April 20th. No real reason, really. I know that is odd, but…I like this date. I always thought it would be cool for my first child to be born on April 20th.
Last year, on April 20th, we had been waiting for six weeks for our profile to be shown to the woman expecting a baby in June. For six weeks we had waited to hear that Susan, the lawyer, was finally going to be showing the woman the collection of 3-4 family profiles she had for her to choose from. During those six weeks I had formed a strange sort of friendship with Rebecca, who was one of the 3-4 families waiting to hear if she had been chosen by this woman to parent her baby, or not.
April 20th was finally the day we had both been anxiously waiting for. Would she pick me? Would she pick Rebecca’s family? Or some other family?
Ended up, she picked no family because she decided she didn’t want to work with Susan anymore.
I remember like yesterday Susan telling me over the phone, “I don’t expect to ever hear from her again.”
And just like that, I assumed that this just wasn’t the baby God had for us.
If you’ve been reading here for more than a year now, you know that baby was our baby – our Sweet Pea – and just 22 days later on May 12th, through circumstances that were beyond our control, we were officially matched with this woman named Melody who three months later gave birth to Sweet Pea.
What’s the point of this post? Well, I have several friends who are in the waiting stage right now. Exactly where I was one year ago today.
Waiting to be matched. Waiting to be chosen.
I clearly remember my thinking through that whole process and how God radically changed my perspectives on waiting and clearly taught me that He is in control.
I had thoughts such as Well, if this woman has dark hair/dark eyes, she will probably pick Rebecca’s family. But if she is light hair/blue eyes, she will probably pick my family. When making our family profile to be presented to this woman, I remember second-guessing what I had included in there wondering if it would give us less of a chance of being chosen.
And then, like light pierces darkness and totally and completely changes things and reveals the unseen, God began a work in my heart.
That work was to teach me a profound truth about Himself. The truth that He is in control.
I began to clearly see and understand that if this baby was the baby God had to join our family nothing would keep Him from placing this baby with us. Absolutely nothing.
There really was nothing to worry about!!!
There was such freedom in that truth. I didn’t have to sit and think and contemplate what our chances were of being chosen. If this was our baby, we would be chosen. Plain and simple.
Except, we were not chosen, but that was our baby!
God spoke that truth into my heart that He is in control, but then He went a step further and played out that truth in my life through the circumstances that brought Sweet Pea into our life.
As long as I live I will never ever forget the moment in time when I realized that I was sitting, once again, in the midst of another of God’s miracles.
It was the afternoon when Dave and I sat in the car on a conference call with Emily and I realized that the woman Emily was speaking to us about was the exact same woman Susan had been working with prior to April 20th.
It was a surreal moment for me. Sitting there in the car God had made it crystal clear to me that He is in control because there was no way on Earth I could have orchestrated the events that lead Melody to leave Susan and call up Emily days later and meanwhile, have me call Emily during that same exact time to tell her we were ready to start the process to adopt our second child.
I seriously felt like I was standing (sitting) on Holy Ground that day.
We hung up with Emily and I was absolutely speechless. All I could do was allow silent tears to flow down my face as I marveled in the Sovereignty of God.
All that thinking and worrying I had done truly was so meaningless and a waste of time!! The whole time God was in control.
If you are waiting today, take heart!
God is in control of your situation, too. He is orchestrating something beautiful for those who believe in His plans and trust that His ways are higher and better.
Stop the wondering and worrying if your profile is up to par. Stop comparing yourself to other families who are also waiting. Just stop because…God is in control and nothing is going to stop Him from carrying out His plan for you.
Wait on the Lord and in His Time He will move. (Ouch. I know that hurt. I hated hearing that while waiting, but, it is SO very true and something we need to remind ourselves when we are in God’s waiting room.)
Find rest today in the fact that God is fighting for you and He is in control.
Always in complete control.
If you allow your mind to truly grasp what that means, it will radically change your life, as it has mine.