It is a rare day for me to think about my infertility. Those years seem a lifetime ago – and really, they are a lifetime ago. My life now is consumed with the little family God has blessed me with even though six years ago I wondered if I would ever get the privilege to be a mother.
In present time, every month as I start my period, I am reminded about the up and down roller coaster that I used to live monthly. The hope that was always felt every month. The analyzing of the cycles. And then the despair that would set in at the onset of another period only for hope to be reborn at the start of a new cycle; a cycle that would hopefully, finally, be the one that would result in a pregnancy.
I know God could choose to open my womb at any time; however it is not something I pray for or even hope for.
As my period comes right on time every month, I think about those out there who are living the nightmare of infertility today, hoping that this month will be different than all the others. And then it isn’t.
I know nothing I write here today can erase the pain you are feeling. It sounds so cliché but trust in God and hang in there.
I’ve walked through the trial of infertility and I have since walked through another different trial.
The trials of today are not our trials of tomorrow.
Trials are temporary and, as hard as it is to believe this today, God has a plan for your infertility and He will reveal that plan to you if you seek Him with your whole heart.
I have learned that trials we go through in this life are not about us and instead they are all about God. God doesn’t make people go through trials out of spite or because of something we did in our past. We live in a fallen world where life on earth hasn’t been perfect since Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden. That’s when sin, sickness and disease entered the world and our trials stem from that.
We serve a God of Redemption!
As only God can do, He takes something bad and turns it into something good. He brings beauty from ashes with the thread of redemption weaved in all of our stories.
In every trial I have experienced in my life I have seen this thread of redemption weaved within the intricate details of my trials. God was there. Totally present in the midst of my trials.
Doing a work only He could do for His glory.