Sarge will probably be coming home within the week which is both exciting and terrifying!!!
After three weeks of being away from home and being in a hospital, Dave and I are more than ready to be HOME.
It is still pretty surreal to us that we have a third child and it is slightly terrifying to think about the adjustments our family will have to go through to bring a newborn into our little family.
In our minds, these newborn days were over! Diapers, formula and feeding schedules were a thing of the past. Our youngest had just turned three years old and we were beginning our first official year of homeschooling and were moving to a new stage of life.
I just have to chuckle at what God must have been thinking when we decided we were done with newborns and sold all our baby stuff in March and used that money to purchase our homeschool curriculum this year! At that time, my heart wasn’t completely sure that our family was complete with two children but Dave and I had been thinking about all the children in foster care waiting for their forever homes and we were thinking maybe in a year or two (once we had a year or two of homeschooling under our belts) we would possibly look in to adopting a child from the foster care system under the age of four.
Those were our plans. And they did not include a newborn. There was one thing we were confident about: We would most likely NOT being doing another domestic infant adoption to grow our family.
We make plans that we can handle. I figured in 1-2 years we’d have a good homeschooling routine going and be ready to throw a curveball again at adding another child. A child that desperately needed a family and could join right in with our homeschooling. A newborn would cramp my homeschooling style.
Do you see the problem there? We make plans that we can handle.
Where was God in that plan? I had everything in control! I didn’t need God for that plan – MY PLAN.
As always God’s plans are so much bigger and so much better than we can ever imagine. And His plans always require us to rely on Him…for everything!
A few weeks before we realized that God just may be placing Sarge with us, He began to work on my heart concerning the whole newborn-thing. I can’t go into details yet about what He did with me but there was the definite work of God on my heart as He began to prepare me for what was to come.
That doesn’t change the fact that I am a little bit terrified about having three children ages 5, 3 and a newborn!
But, you know what? This makes me rely on Him because I know I can’t do this in my own strength.
With the births of each of my children, God has used them to refine me as a woman, wife and mother. Sarge will do the same. And probably even more so, because this time, I won’t even begin to think that I am SuperMom and can do it all. Because I can’t. No one can do it all.
All we can do is what God calls us to do and equips us to do. This experience for me has only reiterated to me how dependent on God we should be.
I can do NOTHING apart for Him, including caring for and raising Little Bug, Sweet Pea and Sarge.
I’m prepared for a wild ride! Being a stay-at-home-homeschooling mom to a Kindergartener, preschooler and newborn is going to have it’s challenges but I am prepared to offer myself A LOT of grace this time around.
This is just another season of my life that will, before I know it, be gone. I know the days (and nights) are going to be long, but in the blink of an eye little Sarge is going to be a pudgy toddler running around chasing his sisters and I will look at the three of them and wonder what I ever would have done without my little Sarge.
Because I already think that and he is not even three weeks old.
I am the mother of three now and by God’s grace, He will give me manna for every day to come.