Little Beau has been home for nearly a month now. We are still adjusting to the new dynamics of a family of six, but, overall, things are going very well.
Beau is a sweet baby, and although he is my youngest, he is my biggest baby by a landslide! At 5 months old, Beau is tipping the scales at 17 pounds and already scooting around our living room floor!
We are in the “cocooning phase” with Beau. I knew Beau’s adoption was different than our other adoptions but I didn’t exactly know how until I started researching by talking to other adoptive moms and professionals.
Beau has had multiple caregivers in his short life that he has seen come and then go. Over and over again. I thought surely we were in the clear considering Beau had been cared for and never abused, but then I was told that it’s not just about care but about security in WHO. All Beau knows is that things change and caregivers change. He doesn’t know how to trust yet. He truly doesn’t understand that we will come back.
Attachment issues happen due to disruptions in bonding. If Beau never gets the chance to bond without worry that we will disappear too, he can’t learn to trust.
To give Beau the opportunity to learn to trust that we won’t disappear too, we have to be there and allow no disruption in OUR care for him. This is where cocooning comes in to play. We are keeping Beau’s world very small, predictable and simple, and, for now, we are doing all of Beau’s care.
The time period for all of this is a bit foggy to me as I have heard a variety of recommendations. So, we are cocooning for at least 10 weeks because that will be double the amount of time Beau has ever had the same caregiver and then we will reevaluate after that time period.
We were told to expect Beau to be fussy the first couple of weeks he was home, but we have not seen any of that at all over the past 4 weeks he has been home. Some have told me he is in a “honeymoon phase” and others have told me that our home environment is so ideal for babies and children that Beau is truly at peace.
This is new territory to me. I feel somewhat like I did when Little Bug was born and I was having to learn about how to best care for a baby exposed to substances in the womb. That was scary learning, but I know God guided me every step of the way as I cared for Little Bug and then Sweet Pea and Sarge. As I now navigate this path, He is there leading me again. Of that I am certain.
He hadn’t been home an hour and once his foster mother left, I held him where I could look into his eyes and I told him, “Beau, you are home now. You aren’t going anywhere else. I am your Mommy.” I have told him that every day since at least once a day, if not more, and I will continue to speak that truth into his little heart every day.
A friend from church gave me this double-stroller this summer and it has come in handy so many times already. The boys love going on walks in the neighborhood in their stroller while the girls are riding their bikes.
I need Dave to write the next post for Through the Lens of Grace and then I should be able to get back to finishing writing this story!