one year later

Our first glimpse of our second daughter. There was obviously no laying of the baby on mother’s chest right after birth (seeing as how I didn’t give birth to her!), but I can’t imagine these moments being any more special than they were that day.

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Wires and lights were everywhere. I couldn’t even see her eyes, at first!

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The moment I knew love multiplies.

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Our first family of four photo while standing by Sweet Pea’s NICU bedside.

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Finally she is off the lights and can be held for feedings!

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In her Daddy’s arms. Notice the furrowed brow, her paci, the swaddle and her little hand coming out – she needed her Miracle Blanket!! That was her “look” for many weeks.

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First time holding my two girls. God has been so faithful to me this year as I mothered these two precious girls. I questioned God’s timing in bringing us another baby, but now, I know His plan was – and is – perfection.

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The special doctor God gave Sweet Pea in my absence. I worried about her being all alone in the hospital before I could get there, but she was well taken care of by Dr. R – one of the best doctors I have ever met.

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I don’t miss a thing when I take pictures, so it doesn’t surprise me that I took a picture of the NICU sign right outside the door. This picture reminds me that I’ve never experienced a “normal” birth with a healthy drug-free baby. But you know what? I haven’t missed a thing in this life because this is the path God has placed me on and these are the babies God gave me – and I don’t want my life to be “normal”.

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What a tiny little peanut! After just nine days in the NICU, Sweet Pea was well enough to come home! That, in and of itself, was a miracle as we were fully prepared for a lengthy stay with her.

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God is faithful. All the time, He is faithful.

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This past year is just another chapter of my life where the faithfulness of God is visible on every page.

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I thank the Lord for the healing He has brought upon this sweet baby.

monkey wrench in my best laid out plans

An upcoming birthday (Sweet Pea will be 1 two weeks from today!) always takes me back in time to the days and weeks spent waiting for our adoption journey to come to an end with the birth of the baby.

As Sweet Pea’s due date got closer and closer, I began making plans for how I was going to juggle a 2 year old at home and a newborn in the NICU.

I was fully prepared for a longer NICU stay with Sweet Pea because she had been exposed to methadone for six of her nine months in the womb whereas her sister was exposed to methadone for only about 6 weeks.

I had devised a plan with my mom so that she would be at the NICU most mornings with Sweet Pea while I would be spending the morning with Little Bug. Then I would lay Little Bug down for a nap and my mom would come stay with her while I went to the NICU to be with Sweet Pea. Then I would be back at some point after naptime and go back to the NICU in the evenings once Little Bug was in bed. Although that last part of my plan didn’t fly over well with my family because the hospital is located in a very bad area of town and it would not be safe for me to go up there alone at night. But that is besides the point, now.

I knew it would be a crazy life, but I also knew it wouldn’t last forever.

And then the monkey of all monkey wrenches was thrown into my best laid out plans.

Just a few weeks before her due date, Melody was moved 1.5 hours away from our city!

Now, I was faced with the fact that I was going to have two babies 1.5 hours apart from each other and, before Sweet Pea was even born, I already felt torn between my two babies. Also, my mind was overloaded with where we would stay, how much money it was going to cost us and how would we “do this” for weeks and possibly a month or more??

But, you know what?

God worked out every single detail, big and small, regarding the fact Sweet Pea was going to be born and stay in a NICU 1.5 hours away from our home.

I will never forget a Sunday morning sitting in our small group at church. We were sharing the predicament we were in with our friends in our class. My friend, Katie, looked me square in the eyes and said, “Do not worry, Elaine. I have friends in [the city Sweet Pea was born in]. God is going to provide a place for you to stay.”

Those first three words were exactly what I needed to hear.

Oh, how quick I am to just immediately worry!!!

It wasn’t but probably a day or two later and Katie called me saying her friend would be more than happy for us to stay in her extra bedroom in her house!

We spent the first four nights of our stay at her house. It was such a tremendous blessing to not have to pay a hotel bill on top of all the expenses that come along with adoption.

My parents took over Little Bug’s care as soon as TPR was signed and we hit the road. I knew this was going to be the longest I had ever been away from my firstborn, but I also knew she was in very capable hands and would be very well taken care of. Little Bug didn’t miss a beat with my parents and for basically a week straight, they were Little Bug’s primary caregiver.

We arrived at the NICU on August 4th, which was a Thursday. We planned to stay through the weekend and then go back home because Dave would need to get back to work and then I would have to figure out what I was going to do.

The day after we got there my mom called me and couldn’t stand it any longer – she said they were just dying to meet Sweet Pea. She asked if they (my dad, my mom and Little Bug) could make a day trip and come meet Sweet Pea the next day. I said yes and was thrilled they were coming. I wanted my Mama and baby girl and was elated I would get to see Little Bug after just barely 24 hours.

As my parents were about to arrive, I received a text from my brother saying he was on his way to the hospital. He was doing a summer internship in a city about 2 hours from where we were and he had decided to drive over to meet his new niece! I kept it a secret that he was on his way too and we ended up surprising my mom. It was so special for my family to meet Sweet Pea together in the NICU. The nurses allowed us to break the rules so that I could bring my parents, my brother and Little Bug back to meet Sweet Pea at the same time!

During that time, we were also looking into possibly getting Sweet Pea transferred to the NICU in our city, but then we got the very surprising and unexpected news that there was a very real possibility that Sweet Pea would be discharged on Monday, at less than a week old!

Dave and I stayed through the weekend and woke up Monday morning hoping for good news when we arrived at the hospital. Instead, we got a phone call from Sweet Pea’s incredibly awesome doctor who we just absolutely adored who told us some discouraging news. Sweet Pea had had a rough night and she felt to discharge her that morning would be too soon and she really wanted to keep her a few more days.

Meanwhile, back at home, through a connection at church yet again, my mom had been told that our entire family could stay at the home of this family who lived near the hospital and was going out of town and had opened up their home for us to use for the week!

My mom and dad packed up and came back bringing Little Bug. We all stayed together in this house that was generously given to us by a family we didn’t even know! Dave and I had the master bedroom, my parents had the son’s room and we set Little Bug’s pack n play up in the office. For the next few days we camped out at the NICU. I had such sweet memories of sitting by Little Bug’s side in the NICU with my mom and I wanted those memories with Sweet Pea too. God gave us that those two days my family was there.

Dave’s work was incredibly understand and supportive of our adoption. Dave was allowed to log in at a Panera for 3 hours each day to take care of some things and call that a day’s work! Such a blessing in many ways. He was able to stay with me the entire time Sweet Pea was in the NICU and he actually needed an “excuse” to leave the hospital for some time each day so going to “work” was it. I would have slept by Sweet Pea’s bedside given the opportunity but Dave got antsy just sitting there all day and needed to get out and see the light of day. So he would go to “work” and I kept my vigil at Sweet Pea’s bedside. Such a tremendous blessing to have my husband there the entire time but for him to not have to take more days off from work.

My parents left to go back home on Tuesday (or maybe it was Wednesday). I remember feeling so sad when they pulled away and tears streaming down my face. I didn’t want my Mama and my girl to be leaving me. But I put my focus on where I needed to be – and that was by my youngest baby’s bedside so that she could improve and come home where she belonged.

I didn’t have to wait long to see my Little Bug again! Thursday, Sweet Pea was discharged and we made the 1.5 hour drive home with our newest bundle of joy. Oh that was a happy day.

Nine days in the NICU was all it took and Sweet Pea was ready to come home!!!

God had spared us from a long NICU stay, God provided not one, but TWO places for us to stay free of charge the 7 days we were there, God provided a very special doctor to care for Sweet Pea, God allowed Dave to stay with me the entire time, God allowed a time that could have been very unsettling for Little Bug to be a time of happiness and joy for her and…God taught me another invaluable lesson.

He’s got it all under control!!!!

As I sat worried, He knew just how He was going to provide for our EVERY need that week.

I love sitting back and thinking about that time and all God did for us in the days surrounding Sweet Pea’s birth and NICU stay.

A flood of memories

Today marks one year since everything started to unravel concerning Tracy’s “pregnancy” last year.

I will never forget the emotions wrapped up in that week as my lawyer and I worked to try and expose Tracy’s deception.

My mind was constantly consumed with these matters for an entire week, but the peace of God was constantly wrapped around my heart as well, giving me the strength I needed to be able to get to the bottom of this, once and for all.

I went back in my blog and read some of my posts from those days last January. On January 31st, I wrote that things were over and then I said, You know what this means, right? God’s just got something more!

And He most certainly did!

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Sweet Pea was God’s Something More.

I recently was looking back at pictures when Sweet Pea was in the NICU and it brought back a flood of memories.

When we first laid eyes on her.

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There was nothing like being able to see my baby for the first time and know that she was already completely mine, however, at the same time, seeing a sick baby laying there unswaddled with horrible bright lights shining down on her certainly wasn’t how I imagined seeing her for the first time!

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I couldn’t even see her face and I wanted to see that tiny little face so bad! I picked up her “sunglasses” and moved them so I could see her face and then I heard our lawyer say, “You better put those back on her eyes or the lights could make her go blind.” Oops!!!

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The picture above is another one of my favorites, despite the fact that my baby looks so pathetic. Notice her feet and my hand. It tells a story. A story of how a mother, meeting her baby for the very first time – a baby that did not grow in her womb – will automatically just do whatever it takes to bring comfort to her child.

When I saw Sweet Pea laying there I wanted to scoop her up and hold her close. She lay there unswaddled, twitching. A nurse told me, “She likes for us to hold her feet, it helps her feel more secure.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I couldn’t hold her like I wanted to, but I could stand there and hold her feet. So I did.

In that moment I wanted her to know, I am your Mama and I am going to take care of you…always.

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Then, Dr. Marvelous finds out I have never held my baby girl and she bends the rules and tells me I need to hold her!

I also love the picture above. Those are Dr. Marvelous’s hands and arms you see standing over Sweet Pea and me. That is symbolic to me because I prayed for someone to stand in my place and take special care of Sweet Pea until we were able to go to the hospital after TPR was signed and be by Sweet Pea’s side.

Dr. Marvelous was that someone God provided.

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She is so yellow, tiny and fragile-looking in this picture. You can see how tiny she was compared to Dave’s hand.

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She had to be on these lights (for the rH factor) for 4 days.

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She even had to eat under the lights!

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Hard to believe that was this baby, but Sweet Pea was the baby God had planned all along to join our family!

The Body of Christ

God has blessed me tremendously with family and friends that have faithfully supported and prayed for us.

From phone calls, emails, FB messages, comments on the blog, cards, texts…family and friends from every phase of our lives (thanks to FB which allows you to stay in touch with people you don’t see on a regular basis!) have reached out to us and ministered to us in some way throughout all this.

YOU have truly been the body of Christ at work ministering to a brother and sister in Christ in need of encouragement.

I’ve tried my best to respond to everything, but the truth is, I know I have not because there have just been so many!!!

THANK YOU FOR REACHING OUT! I have certainly read every single note of encouragement and I am so thankful for all the family and friends God has blessed me with!

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I cannot tell you how awesome it was to have Rebecca here with me during the final weeks of waiting for my little Sweet Pea to be born. Rebecca and baby Levi were quite a good distraction in those final weeks of waiting! It was incredibly special that Rebecca happen to be at my mom’s house (instead of at the NICU) when the text came in from Emily saying Sweet Pea was ours! The above picture was taken right after that text.

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We walked the adoption journey together, both desiring to parent Sweet Pea (which is how we met) and then, God saw fit to give us babies born 15 days apart and a friendship that will last a lifetime!

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The night we came home from the NICU, Bethany brought us dinner. At a time like this, it is so nice to not have to worry about a simple thing such as “what’s for dinner?”. It was so nice to have a yummy dinner delivered right to our front door! Bethany also text me and asked if I needed anything. I told her I needed formula. That night it was brought to my front door!

That first week (and only week!) we were home we had more meals provided by Brooke, Morgan, Jen and Molly. THANK YOU!

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We were home for only 9 days before we found ourselves back at the hospital on Saturday night. Sunday night, John, Katie, Luke (their precious 4 month old son) and Melissa came to the hospital with a homemade delicious dinner. After being in the hospital for 24 hours without leaving it was indescribably wonderful to see them all walk into our hospital room!! By that point we were so bored and ready for a little party!

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I hate the only picture I have of Luke is one of him crying because he is the happiest little baby you will ever see! He was over the hospital by this time and ready to go home and go to bed!

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The next day (Monday) was another long, boring day in the hospital but it wasn’t long and I had another visitor! Brooke came to see me and meet Sweet Pea! I did enjoy my time with just getting to know my little Sweet Pea but you don’t realize how draining it is to sit in a hospital room all. day. long. until you do it. Every time a familiar face walked into the room it was a boost for me and gave me a little more of what I needed to get through the hospital stay!

Please pray for Brooke! I wrote this asking for prayer for them as they wait to hear if they will be chosen to be a baby’s forever family. They are still waiting. The waiting is so very hard. Satan is attacking the peace that God wants them to feel at this time. The should find out something next week!

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Monday afternoon Angele and Hannah came to the hospital with lunch, a bag of goodies for entertainment and snacking purposes and a “Get Well” balloon. We ate lunch together and again I was thrilled to have some visitors! On their way out, Angele told me I needed to leave Sweet Pea with my mom (who was also at the hospital during that time) and walk out with them to the car just so I could get out of this hospital room. I decided to go and OH MY! I didn’t realize how “down” I felt until I left that room for the first time in almost 48 hours! It was an immediate HUGE boost just walking outdoors and seeing the sunshine. Angele found an outside patio area that you can only access from inside the hospital. We went out there and sat for a while. That area became my little haven for the rest of our stay there. I would go there any chance I got just to get out of the confines of that hospital room.

Hannah had been through the whole spinal tap deal with hospitalization at 5 weeks old, so Angele knew just what I needed!

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My mom made several trips up to the hospital with Little Bug. It did my heart a world of good to see my big girl. I took her to my little haven (the patio) many times. Little Bug enjoyed the walk to get there. There was a huge fountain along the way that she loved to look at and then she loved walking around the patio too.

I seriously don’t know what I would have done without my mom (and dad) throughout this time. I know Little Bug has done so well with all the changes in her life and the going back and forth from home, to Grandma’s house to back to home to back to Grandma’s with all our in and out stays at the hospitals recently, because she has had her Grandma taking care of her and keeping her on her little routine as much as possible. My mom has done house chores so that I can focus on other things and she has taken middle of the night feedings so that I can sleep. My dad kept Little Bug and even changed her diaper many times so that my mom could be with me some while Little Bug napped. I pretty much have the most incredible parents ever. I count it a HUGE blessing that I have parents that are willing to help out so much with whatever we need during this time.

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Ashlie and Grace came up on Tuesday and brought me lunch! And, of course, seeing their smiling faces and being able to talk to someone other than the nurses and doctors was so refreshing! They helped the time pass that afternoon as we had learned that morning we would be able to go home at some point that day!

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Aunt Nancy arrived at the hospital right at feeding time and when discharge papers were brought in and signed them! It was special to have her there with us as we fed Sweet Pea, packed everything up, got Sweet Pea dressed and then headed out of there!

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Yesterday Sarah came over and hung out with us at the house. I’m not taking Sweet Pea many places until she is 6 weeks old so it was so nice of Sarah to come see us. She brought us a can of formula and …

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… a crafty gift for each of my girls!

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Amanda has been a lifesaver! Every day Little Bug asks to “go to the park”. It is just too hot for me to take Sweet Pea, yet. Amanda called me one day after we had been released from the hospital the 2nd time and asked if I wanted her to take Little Bug up to the neighborhood park! I immediately said, “Yes!!” Little Bug was thrilled! And, you know what? Amanda did this straight from coming home from teaching high school Spanish all day long. Talk about a dedicated Aunt! Little Bug loves her Aunt Amanda (who is also her Sunday School teacher now!). And I am blessed to have such an awesome sister-in-law!

I don’t have a picture to go with this next one because, well, we were rushing out the door and pictures were the last thing on my mind!

Saturday evening, when we got the call that bacteria had been found in Sweet Pea’s blood and we were told to bring her back to the ER as soon as possible, my in-laws happen to stop by the house right at that time! They were able to stay with Little Bug so we didn’t have to drag her up to the ER as well! I am very blessed to have wonderfully supportive an loving in-laws who love my little girls to pieces!

I don’t have a picture to go with this one either but…God puts people in your life for a reason. Jennifer and Tracy, both who have much experience of babies with methadone/drug exposure in the womb, have been right by my side from a far giving me advice and keeping me sane through Sweet Pea’s withdrawals. There was one night where we thought the uncontrollable crying that comes with methadone withdrawal had hit and I had both of them on FB chat as they were walking me through trying to help me figure things out!

And we can’t forget…It was Jennifer who sent me that text on March 8th. The beginning of my journey to Sweet Pea!

When I got home from the doctor yesterday, this was in the mail:

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It’s a card from one of my friends I have basically known my entire life! Kelly sent us a gift card to a restaurant to take care of dinner for us one night!

Again, I wish I could specifically note every single phone call, email, FB message, text message and comment on the blog! Thank you for every single one and thank you for every single prayer. It truly does mean the world to us.

Blessed.

God has richly blessed me with family and friends from every phase of my life.

Thank you for being the body of Christ, the hands and feet of Jesus.

Medical Update: 8 days old

Sweet Pea is a week and one day old! In some ways, I can’t believe she is already a week old and in other ways, this one week has seemed like a month already!

rh Factor:

Sweet Pea has been light free for several days now. I asked if the rH factor was behind us now and Dr. Wonderful said it is not.

Every week or so (for I do not know how long) Sweet Pea’s blood levels will need to be monitored. The red blood cells are still being attacked so Sweet Pea’s red blood cell count still needs to be monitored. There is a possibility Sweet Pea may need another blood transfusion once she is released and under the care of her pediatrician.

The hospital here is monitoring her levels and, right now, her red blood cell count is fine.

Withdrawals:

Sweet Pea has had a very calm day today. After one score of an 8 early this morning, the rest of her scores today have been low. Earlier I wrote that she would be given morphine today if she scored an 8, but it is actually after having two 8’s in a row that she will be given morphine.

Her last dose of morphine was this morning (around 8am, I think).

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On August 9th (one week old) Sweet Pea weighed 5lbs. 14oz.

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Daddy time!

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Thank you for continuing to pray for Sweet Pea!

when I first laid eyes on you

Another day in the NICU.

Sweet Pea is sleeping, Dave has gone to Panera to use their internet to work and it’s just Sweet Pea and me in the NICU.

As I look at her sweet face I think, This is the baby that my friend Jennifer text me about on March 8th!! This is the baby that I started praying for not knowing if she was my child, or not. This is the baby that Emily told me about on May 2nd, three months to the day before Sweet Pea was born.

And this is the baby that I first laid eyes on not even a week ago now and she was already completely mine.

I can hardly begin to describe what that was like.

I have mentioned before that Little Bug and Sweet Pea’s adoptions have been totally different. I can’t go into great detail about all that at this time but I will say that being there for Little Bug’s birth was a moment in my lifetime that I will never forget.

Seeing her enter this world, especially after all I had just been through with infertility was like I was reborn myself. Her birth signaled a new beginning for me.

The beginning of motherhood.

As euphoric as those moments were surrounding Little Bug’s birth, I can hardly begin to describe what it felt like to hold a baby not knowing if she was really going to be mine or not.

09815 - 100_4641Holding Little Bug on the night of her birth before TPR had been signed.

I was not there for Sweet Pea’s birth. In fact, I have never met her birth mother. I would not change anything about being there for Little Bug’s birth and God carried me through those 81 hours I had to wait to know Little Bug was in fact my daughter.

Just like I will never forget how I felt seeing my firstborn enter this world, I will never forget when I realized what was going to happen with Sweet Pea.

I was going to lay eyes on her for the very first time and she was already going to be mine!

That thought alone kept me from being able to go to sleep last Tuesday and Wednesday night right after Sweet Pea’s birth. I would lay in bed imagining what that was going to be like and my heart literally felt like it was going to bust out of my chest from excitement!

My eyes would tear up and I would have to stop myself from even thinking about it because I knew I was jumping the gun in even entertaining these thoughts because Melody had not yet signed and I knew if I didn’t stop thinking about it I would never go to sleep.

But about 5 seconds after Emily’s text on Thursday at 12:31pm, my mind was consumed with the thought that I was about to meet my baby girl for the first time and she was already mine.

We arrived at the hospital and were lead to Sweet Pea’s bedside where Emily and two others from the agency were there waiting for us.

I rounded the corner and there she was.

DSCN0271My first glimpse at my baby girl.

She was already on the triple light therapy with her “sunglasses” on to protect her eyes. She was very jittery and I remember turning to Dave and saying, “She is already going through withdrawals.” I wanted to scoop her up right there and hold her but I just leaned in as far as I could and took in the sight of my glowing second born “sunbathing” on her lights.

While I know that isn’t how “normal” moms meet their babies after giving birth, that was one of the sweetest moments ever of my entire life.

I was looking at my baby and she was mine and, in that moment, that was all that mattered.

And then Dr. Marvelous made her first appearance and whispered to me, “Have you held her yet?”. When I told her I had not, she told the nurses, “She needs to hold her baby.”

Two minutes later, I was holding Sweet Pea for the first time.

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Even though I can’t go into specifics right now about certain things, it is amazing to me that everything I worried about concerning going through the adoption process again, God took care of.

One example is that I dreaded having to go through the 48 hour wait for TPR to be signed after holding and falling in love with a baby that wasn’t mine yet.

God spared me from having to go through that again.

He has blessed abundantly by giving me unique, special moments with both of my daughters in the hours and days after their births.

God is so good and so faithful.

perspective

I’m tired.

Tonight my thoughts keep going to people who have babies in the NICU for weeks at a time. I’ve just been living the NICU life for less than a week now and I’m drained (because I need a good nights sleep which I hope to get tonight).

Sometimes the easiest way to take your mind off your own sorrows is to focus on someone else’s.

Next to Sweet Pea is a 2lb baby girl that was born on May 27th (Little Bug’s birthday!) at 24 weeks gestation. She entered this world weighing only 1lb. 5oz. Her parents have been living NICU life for over two months now, and today they said they have about another month to go.

Two beds down from Sweet Pea is a baby boy who has been in the NICU for about two months and has about another three weeks to go. But when he is released he will soon be back for his first open heart surgery.

Yes, I hate seeing my baby going through what she is going through, but if I take my eyes off my own little area of the NICU, there are WAY worse situations going on all around me.

My child has not be diagnosed with anything that she will carry with her for the rest of her life. She’s had a rough entry into this world but ultimately, she is going to be absolutely fine given some time.

That really helps me keep my perspective…and it makes my heart go out to the parents that are sitting in the NICU one or two beds away and their child is dealing with issues that may be there for the duration of their child’s life.

And while it is hard to believe it has only been five days since that text from Emily that told us Melody had signed and Sweet Pea was ours, it has only been five days and most likely, within five more days we will all be home where we belong.

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Safe in Daddy’s hands

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Holding my TWO miracles for the first time!

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I am still in complete amazement that the girl who three years ago wondered if she would EVER become a mother, is now the mother of not one but TWO sweet girls through the miracle of adoption.

To God be the Glory!!

walking by faith

**Internet at the new house so your picture fix can continue!**

Sometimes a girl just needs her Mama…no matter her age.

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It did my heart so much good to see my Mama and my big girl yesterday.

Little Bug came in to the NICU to see her baby sister that she hasn’t stopped talking about since she met her last Friday!

Sorry, no pictures…Dave had the camera and was at Panera working while Little Bug was at the hospital.

Little Bug was quite the star of the NICU as I am sure you can well imagine. Can’t take that girl anywhere without her stealing the show!

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My Mama sat with me while I held Sweet Pea. Amazing that I did not know this baby one week ago and now, she is my daughter.

Sweet Pea had another special visitor today!

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Tigger!

Sweet Pea’s monthly pictures will be taken with Tigger.

The furrowed brow was from the flash of the camera. Sweet Pea was ready for bed and didn’t want me taking pictures.

As I mentioned yesterday, we have moved to the house of a family who is on vacation this week and they are letting us stay in their home.

I saw these things in the bedroom we are staying in:

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I’ve been debating whether I was going to share this on the blog or not, but I have decided I will.

As a rule, I don’t share my girls’ names on the blog for security reasons, however, I am bending that rule just a bit.

Sweet Pea’s middle name is Faith.

We easily came up with a first name for Sweet Pea, but we were having difficulty with a middle name until one night Dave mentioned the name “Faith”.

It fit perfectly because adoption is such a walk of faith.

Life is actually a walk of faith, too.

I have found, even when circumstances are uncertain, there is peace because I know Who is in control.

It’s not me and it’s not even Dr Marvelous.

It’s God.

We will go home when we go home and, until then, we will press on through each day, walking by faith.

Brief update from my phone

It is hard to know what is really going on. I’ve just decided we are along for the ride and God will see us through.

We are here for a reason.

Taking one day and sometimes one hour at a time.

Sweet Pea is scored every so often for the withdrawal symptoms. Her scores have not gone higher than 8, which is pretty good.

I’ve worked through my frustration and now it is time to press forward. I trust Dr Marvelous and I know Sweet Pea is receiving excellent care.

Just keep praying. Your comments come in to me on my phone. Every once in a while I pick my phone up to read and your comments bring so much encouragment. Thank you for walking with me through this.

One more thing…

Sweet Pea’s nurse has no idea about my blog and what Sweet Pea’s name is on there, but guess what she calls Sweet Pea??

SWEET PEA!!

Disappointed

My phone rang just after 8am today and it was Sweet Pea’s doctor.

Sweet Pea is not going home today.

We are very disappointed and there are tears.

While our plans for today have certainly changed, nothing has changed in this regard: GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL AND HE’S STILL GOT THIS.

The doctor described Sweet Pea as “irritable and having loose stools”, which she says are signs of withdrawals.

Sweet Pea is going back on morphine today and the doctor said she will be here at least another 3 days.

This is such a surprise (I think to us all!) because she has been doing so well.

Just please pray. I know you will. I’m not fighting this on my own.

I have my God and I have an army of prayer warriors who are constantly lifting us up to the Lord.

Reading your comments that came through on my last post made me cry.

God is still in control and He’s still got this. I have to keep my focus on that.

Please plead the blood of Jesus over my baby girl and ask the Lord to heal her body completely over the next 3 days.