Not a good day all the way around

My heart just aches for Brooke. It is hard to understand the whys. Why God wouldn’t just let them have this baby after all they have been through.

But, I know and she knows that God has a plan and this baby just wasn’t their baby.

I know the pain of disappointment after disappointment, the agony of waiting and…I was so hoping today would be the start of God unveiling the perfect, beautiful plan He has for this precious family.

But it was not.

They are still waiting for God to move. And that is very hard.

Today wasn’t a good day for Sweet Pea, either.

She was uncomfortable for the majority of the day. She would fall asleep and wake up with tummy pains.

I cannot wait for Thursday. I wish the appointment was tomorrow! I cannot wait to talk to Dr M and see where she thinks we should go next.

I don’t really see a difference in Sweet Pea’s comfort level since being on the probiotics. The only difference I have noticed in the past week has been less spit up coming up through her nose. She still spits up, but it is less frequently coming up through her nose. Not really sure what that means, if anything.

I admit I feel down today. I feel like a loser all the way around because I don’t feel like I am being a good wife, or mother to either Little Bug or Sweet Pea. I know that is Satan trying to bring me down, but that is how I have felt today. My mom is still helping out greatly around here and while I don’t know how I would still be alive if it wasn’t for her help, I feel like a loser that I can’t be a SuperMom and handle the toddler, the baby and the household duties like a pro. Prideful, I know.

I love more than anything in the world being a wife and stay at home mother, and I feel like a failure in every way possible when it comes to my wifely and motherly duties.

Again, I know I’m not a failure and this is all Satan-talk. But I’ve never not spoken truth on this blog and this is how I am feeling right now. So there. I said it.

Bottom line? I want my baby’s tummy to feel better and I hate drugs, especially drugs that affect a perfectly innocent baby.

If this is your baby, you WILL be chosen.

Many of you have prayed for my friend Brooke.

She has been walking a very difficult road since a failed adoption in May of this year.

Right now, Brooke and her husband, Mike, are “in the pot” for adopting a baby through the state.

Next week, they will know if they have been chosen to parent this baby, or not.

I told Brooke, “If this is your baby, you WILL be chosen.”

Mike and Brooke totally agree.

Please join me in praying for them as they wait to receive word on whether they were chosen to parent this baby.

Please pray that God’s Will be done in the life of Mike and Brooke and this precious baby.

Immediate Prayers for Brooke Needed!!

Wow, when it rains, it pours!!!!!

Brooke and her husband Mike were just notified of a 17 month old girl ready for adoption!

Here is her post on Facebook:

Caseworker called me. Baby girl is 17 months old and ready for adoption. We are waiting for our caseworker to contact necessary peoples. Please Pray for us and Baby Girl ♥

Please pray with me that if this is the baby girl God has for Mike and Brooke, God would continue to swing the doors wide open to get this baby girl home!!

Update on Brooke

From Brooke’s fb:
PRAYERS NEEDED……our lawyer just contacted me stating that birth mom contacted her. Birth mom is having remorse. PLEASE PRAY her heart would continue to be softened and that she will give us Elise. PRAY HARD !!!!!!!


We don’t know what will come of this but we are asking everyone to please, please pray with us. God is a God of miracles. He has a mighty plan.

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’S PURPOSE that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

No internet

I just wanted to say that it is very hard to get internet access here, so if I disappear until next week, this is why. 

Thank you to everyone who has left a comment for Mike and Brooke. You may continue to leave more and I will post them as I can.

Please continue to keep Mike and Brooke and their children close in prayer.

When I was walking through the woods yesterday, this scenery reminded me of God’s promises when we are walking through a trial.


It is in God’s promises, and in God’s promises alone, that we find HOPE when our hearts are broken.

God’s Promises are like a soothing stream of cool water over our dry and parched hearts when we are brokenhearted.

Pray against Satan’s attacks on Mike and Brooke because, when we are weak, Satan tries his best to bring us down even further.

We must continue to surround them with our love and support and pray their strength is renewed in Christ.


“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

To the Family and Friends of Mike and Brooke

We made it to the mountains. I am glad to be here, however, my heart is heavy for Mike and Brooke and I feel this is a post that needs to be written now.

If you are reading this and are a friend of Mike and Brooke’s, you need to know that a failed adoption is equivalent to a death in the family.

To Mike and Brooke, their 3rd child, Elise, has died.

Their dreams of her becoming their child have died.

A common misunderstanding is that a failed adoption is “okay” because every mother has a right to allow motherly emotions to make her change her mind at the last minute. While this is absolutely true, in Mike and Brooke’s case, this is NOT what happened. Their case goes deeper and there are legal issues involved.

Friends and family of Mike and Brooke…THIS is the time to continue to stand by them, to love them, to pray that they will lean on the strength of the Lord in this time.

Brooke’s status on facebook recently was something to the effect that the world continues to live life while their world is standing still.

Those are the same emotions anyone would feel after the death of a loved one. After the funeral, friends and family go back to normal life and the widowed spouse or the motherless child must somehow figure out how to live life with this emptiness the size of the Grand Canyon in their life.

It is the same for Mike and Brooke.

Adoption is a crazy thing and yet a beautiful thing.

My husband and I were crammed in the tiny bathroom of the family cabin late last night, talking. (We couldn’t talk in our bedroom because Little Bug was asleep in there. Wesley was asleep in the living room. Like I said, tiny cabin, so the bathroom was it!)

Dave said something I will never forget. We were just talking about how we could not believe this had happened to Mike and Brooke.

Then Dave said, “The laws surrounding how adoption works aren’t risk-free for anyone involved—the adoptive parents or the birth mother. That shouldn’t be a surprise though. The need for adoption is born out of an original flaw that kept the birth mother from caring for the child adequately on her own. That goes against nature, so how can we expect adoption to be any smoother a process?”

Until you have walked the path of adoption, you just simply cannot understand the magnitude of emotions involved.

It is completely overwhelming.

And what Mike and Brooke are experiencing is every couple who is on this path’s worst nightmare.

It is like a death in the family.

Today was supposed to be the day little Elise was in their arms, forever their little girl.

Today hurts and the days and weeks ahead are going to hurt, too.

We need to allow Mike and Brooke to grieve. We need to take care of them like we would if one of their children had died because essentially, this is what has happened.

You are probably thinking, What in the world do I say or do to help them?

The fact is, you don’t have to tell them any elaborate speech. Nothing you say is going to take their pain away.

Just be there for them. Make yourself available. Acknowledge their heartache. Acknowledge their lose. Make a meal and drop it by. (As soon as I can get internet access to post this, I will also be putting up a “Take Them a Meal” site so you can sign up to take them a meal.) Drop a card in the mail. If you are one of my readers, leave a comment on this post for Mike and Brooke to read.

Anything just to let them know that you have stopped your life, for just a moment, to let them know you care and are praying for their broken hearts.

Pray for Selah, their 6 year old daughter, who is taking this very hard. She is old enough to understand what is going on. In my opinion, Mike and Brooke are doing a fabulous job of using these tragic events to teach their daughter truths about God. On top of their own broken hearts, I can only imagine it hurts even worse to know their precious daughter is hurting, too. Pray for sweet Selah to be able to process this in her mind and feel the love of God holding her through this time.

As the body of Christ, it is our responsibility to surround them with our love and support.

There is a long road ahead of them and knowing they are not walking it alone is what Mike and Brooke need to know today.

Brooke’s Adoption: Friday, 11pm

My facebook status:


God is a God of miracles. And He never runs out of them. World, watch out. God is going to do Something More in the life of Mike and Brooke. He heals the broken hearted and turns our mourning into dancing. Tonight, we are mourning. Dancing is coming…in God’s Time. God’s Got This. To God be the Glory, Great Things He has done and IS GOING TO DO.


Mike and Brooke’s faith in the Lord is strong.

Tonight, they are hurting, but as Brooke said (and I quote, with her permission), “We trust God can still give her to us but if not, He remains our GOD!!!!”


Brooke’s Adoption: Friday, 5:30pm

Brooke’s facebook status:
Baby girl was born sometime today. Birth mother changed her mind ( MORE involved but due to legal issues, I CANNOT share so please don’t ask ). PLEASE pray for us as we are out ALOT of money with no baby in our arms. We also now have alot of legal action starting.

Brooke’s Adoption: Friday, 3:30pm

I have never in my life felt the burden of another so heavily and as if it was my very own as I do now.

I seriously cannot do anything today but what is necessary.

Please keep going to the throne of Jesus on their behalf.

When I spoke with Brooke earlier on the phone I was struck by the incredible PEACE that radiated from her.

There is no other way to describe it than to say that Brooke has a blanket of peace wrapped completely around her.

It is all the prayers. THIS is what prayer does.

Without it, I know she would be falling apart, but in spite of some VERY difficult circumstances, Brooke is standing STRONG in the Lord.

Keep praying.

Brooke’s Adoption: Friday, 10am (UPDATED at 10:30)

There is no update at this time, however God has fi)lled Brooke’s heart with a PEACE that can only come from Jesus Christ.

And, right now, that is all that really matters.

Keep them close in prayer today as the only thing they can do is now is wait.


Brooke’s facebook status at 10:30am:


Mike talked to our lawyer this morning ( as she is being updated through social worker )…..birth mother is still in labor, Elise not born yet. Please keep birth mom and Elise in your prayers for a smooth and safe labor/delivery.