I remember like yesterday the month of August 2008. We did our first IUI cycle in July and at the beginning of August we learned that the IUI had not worked and I still wasn’t pregnant.
Instead of jumping into another cycle right away, I felt like God just wanted to me take the month off and just be still before Him.
God used that month to teach me and prepare me for what was to come.
I feel like I am once again in that spot.
In the spot where God wants me to just be still before Him and know that He is God and He’s got what is to come – whatever that may be – under control.
He wants me to turn the worry off and just know that as he brought us through the journey that blessed us with Little Bug, He is going to do it again on our journey to #2.
I hate being human.
Because I am human I worry and I am afraid.
It is a constant daily battle to push the worry and fear aside and instead put my focus and faith in a God that I know has another beautiful plan for us as we seek to grow our family.
The Bible tells us we can’t add a single day to our lives by worrying, yet, even after all God has done through the miracle of Little Bug, I sit here today worried!
Makes no sense whatsoever.
And yet, it makes all the sense in the world because … I am human!
Fortunately, my faith is in the Lord and I know just what to do when the worry creeps in.
Turn away from my worries and fears, put my faith and trust once again in the Lord, accept the strength God has given me because I am a child of His and take the leap of faith God is asking me to take knowing He is walking with me and He already knows what is going to happen.
God doesn’t promise ‘easy’ but He does promise a future that will prosper me and bring me hope.
My relationship with the Lord isn’t something I “do”. It is who I am. And ultimately I know this journey to #2 is not about me, or even another baby.
It’s about God.
It’s about God receiving glory in and through me as I walk this path.
And it’s about being still before the Lord and allowing Him to teach me and mold me through this time into more of the person I was made to be.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10