I wrote a couple weeks ago that this year is the first year in five years where family planning won’t be on the forefront of my mind.
Coming to this point in my life left me thinking about what my purpose in life is now.
The fact that I suddenly felt like something was missing and I needed to figure out what it was really surprised me because I firmly believe my calling in my life right now is to be a stay a home mother to my daughters.
And I am completely satisfied in that role.
There is nothing in this life I would rather do, but I still felt that pull that perhaps God was calling me to do something else, too.
As I began to sort this out in my mind by prayer and listening to what God was trying to tell me, I realized it had something to do with a Crisis Pregnancy Center.
When I have been asked what I can see myself doing after my children are grown (and by grown I don’t necessarily mean ‘going off to college’) I automatically say I do not ever see myself stepping back into the public school system, but instead I see myself working or even just volunteering my time to a local Crisis Pregnancy Center or an adoption agency.
So when the thought of volunteering now entered my mind, I had to really figure out how this was going to work because I do not want anything to pull me away from this precious time with my daughters.
In my “figuring” I just kinda pushed it all to the back burner because I didn’t know how it would all fit into my role as SAHM.
Then January 22nd was Sanctity of Life Sunday. I opened the bulletin and found a brochure in there about our local Crisis Pregnancy Center!
I don’t know if you have ever experienced a kick in the booty from God, but opening my bulletin and seeing that brochure sure was my kick.
It was as if God was saying, Elaine, check the box that says “Please contact me for volunteering opportunities”. You can put your girls down for a nap at your mom’s house, go volunteer and then be back soon after naptime is over.
I have no idea what God’s plan is for me with this organization. All I know is He is calling me now to go.
One afternoon last week I dropped by the Pregnancy Crisis Center and went in to hopefully speak with the director and get some information on volunteer opportunities.
As I walked to the doorstep, I was nervous. I communicate best through written language and yet here I was walking up to this building about to tell the director I would be happy to talk to women who are in a crisis pregnancy. I imagined myself fumbling for words to say and saying all the wrong things!
But then I remembered Moses.
Moses told God, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
The Lord said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” (Exodus 4:11-12)
I walked in to the Pregnancy Crisis Center, explained why I had come and then was asked to sit and wait for the director to come talk to me. I sat in the same exact spot I last saw Tracy 13 months ago. After a flood of memories washed over me, the director stepped out and brought me back to her office where we spent the next 15 minutes talking.
Standing here at the end of this road I know that my experiences might possibly be able to be used by God to help sway a woman who is contemplating abortion to choose adoption.
Yes, speaking to a woman face-to-face about these matters makes me shake like a leaf because I feel I won’t know what to say or will say the wrong thing.
But I know all that is simply fear – fear planted in my heart from the Enemy who desires to see these women choose abortion.
So I will go in faith, with boldness from Him giving me exactly what I need to do this new work He has called me to do.
My volunteer application is currently sitting in the mailbox outside ready to make its way to the Crisis Pregnancy Center. And now I wait for the director’s phone call to tell me my next step.