Instead of taking Clomid this cycle, I am going to take another oral drug called Letrozole (Femara).

Dr. L asked if I wanted 3 or 5 days of menopur (shots). I chose 5.

We are hoping for 3 or 4 good follicles this month. If there are more than 4 follicles, the cycle will be canceled.

I am going this morning for the first ultrasound and will also receive the schedule for this cycle.

Cycle 4…here we come! Thanks for your continued prayers throughout this process. It means the world to us.

At the appointment on Thursday Dr. L said something very interesting that I wanted to share since I know several people who are struggling with infertility read this blog.

Dr. L said that what he has seen with patients who have polysistic ovaries and their partner has at least 2 million healthy, motile sperm for each insemination, IUI usually is almost always the treatment needed to achieve pregnancy.

He said sometimes patients unnecessarily want to jump to IVF because there is an overall higher percentage of pregnancy per cycle, but if patients would only stick with IUI, the odds are, it will eventually be successful. He said most likely pregnancy occurs in three tries.

That should be an encouragement to people who have PCOS! I think it is safe to say that all infertile couples would like, if at all possible, to avoid having to do IVF. I know Dave and I certainly do not want to go down the IVF road.

So hearing my doctor say that, and acknowledge that above everything else God is the creator of life, was just a huge encouragement!

And I hope this information also encourages my blogger friends who are also going through IUI!

Today I had an appointment with Dr. L.

I asked him if we could begin being more aggressive this cycle to increase the odds of pregnancy. He said the next step is to superstimulate the ovaries with the goal of having 2-3 follicles that are mature enough to ovulate. While superstimulating the ovaries increases the odds of pregnancy it also, of course, increases the odds of multiples. However, if there are more than 4 follicles mature enough to ovulate, we would cancel the cycle and not inseminate. And, maybe, just maybe, God is indeed trying to prepare me for twins…I’ll explain that in my next post.

From all my research on the computer and reading other infertility blogs, I had come to the conclusion that even though Dave and I have struggled for a year to conceive, we are tremendously blessed in the simple fact that our infertility issues are minor compared to many of the infertile couples out there. I wanted to discuss this with Dr. L. His response to me was, “I can’t ensure a pregnancy, but I am pretty optimistic about you guys.”

We then began discussing the failed IUI cycle. We were talking about statistics and odds and how there was a 16%-18% chance we would have conceived that cycle when I suddenly said, “Dr. L, I believe God is the creator of life. It’s amazing what you as a doctor can do, but ultimately you can’t create life. Only God can. That is just how we have looked at this failed cycle and it brings much peace.” He looked at me, and with all sincerity said, “You are exactly right.” It made my heart do a flip to know the very doctor who can insert a sperm into an egg through possibly the most complex and aggressive fertility treatment available (ICSI), recognizes that his hands are tied behind his back as far as creating life goes.

Cycle 3 (which is really Cycle 2, since we did not inseminate during Cycle 1) begins approximately September 5th. I chose not to ask detailed questions about the protocol for ovary superstimulation. I’m sure it just means more medications and more shots, but I am in a month of resting now and just didn’t want to deal with all that today!

So, I continue to be still and know that God is God this month. I know He is at work in my life.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

At today’s ultrasound I had S! She is so awesome and I told her that today and she got teary eyed. She is just one of those people you can tell loves her job and desires to do everything right. She goes the extra mile.

S found three follicles in the left ovary that are 12.5mm, 10mm and 10mm. She also found one 9mm follicle in the right ovary. My ovaries were, as usual, hard to find but she is so persistent and found them.

The follicles are growing – just slowly. S told me slow growth is much better than fast growth (or no growth) because if they grew too fast they would ovulate before we had time to inseminate.

So the plan now is for me to have two more injections of the hormone FSH and to postpone insemination. And really, my phobia of needles, shots, drawing blood and anything of the sorts is about totally gone since I have been poked countless times in this process.

Even though the doctor expects patients to inject themselves, God has provided me with several people with nursing experience to do the job for me. I just cannot bring myself to actually inject my own skin. Who knows? Maybe by the end of all this, daily sticking my stomach with a needle will be no different from brushing my teeth. In the meantime, I am forever grateful to those who are doing it for me now.

Saturday I will go back to have another ultrasound to again monitor the growth of these 4 follicles. After that appointment, I will know better when insemination day will be. And of course, I’ll keep you posted and I just ask that you keep praying!

I’m so glad I decide to go see Dr. L today to talk about last cycle and make plans for this next cycle. I had debated on whether I should go or not.

I asked him if I needed 50mg of Clomid per day this cycle or if we needed to go up to 100mg. I was thinking that the more Clomid you take, the more follicles will grow and develop but that is not how Clomid works. You only increase the dosage if the previous dosage didn’t produce any follicles. Dr. L said my ovaries reacted to the 50mg of Clomid so I do not need more.

Dr. L talked to me today about doing injectibles for three days this cycle, as well as the 5 days of Clomid. He said because I am so thin my body may not be putting out as much of the hormone FSH. He said by doing these injectibles, it will give me a better shot of having 2 good follicles for ovulation. I told him it sounded like a good idea to me.

He also told me something very interesting. Did you know that in a woman’s normal monthly cycle by Cycle Day 4 the follicle for ovulation that month is chosen and it suppresses all other follicles from maturing? Dr. L starts me taking Clomid on Day 3 of my cycle, before that one chosen follicle has been naturally selected, so there can be 2 or 3 follicles growing and developing for ovulation. To me, that is so interesting. Our bodies are so intricately designed by our Creator.

I told Dr. L about my plan to just wait and see if I am back in town in time for that ultrasound to decide whether we do a natural cycle this time or use birth control again. He thought that was a good plan.

So that’s where we stand. It’s just a wait and see game from here till about the middle of June. By then I’ll know if we will be inseminating towards the end of this month (natural cycle) or inseminating sometime in July (birth control cycle).

Until then, I’ll probably write more about the marriage conference than IUI. It’ll be a nice change for a while.

Praise the Lord!

Our Treatment Plan is to start with IUI, which is the less invasive, less expensive procedure! Because Dave’s second semen analysis came back much better than the last one, Dr. L said we are good candidates for IUI.

I will take Clomid to make my ovaries produce 2 to 3 eggs (any more than that and we are at a higher risk of multiples). Then at the time of ovulation Dave’s sperm will be placed in my uterus. I will be on birth control (oddly enough) so that my cycle is programmed to the textbook 28-day cycle. When doing IUI, timing is the key factor in conception taking place. A 28-day cycle will allow for optimal timing. A nurse from the office will be contacting me so we can begin the first cycle!

Dr. L suggested we do 3 cycles of IUI first. If after 3 cycles of IUI I am not pregnant, Dr. L said we would reevaluate the Treatment Plan and only then would we consider IVF.

At this point in the journey, I am not even going to think about IUI not working and having to go to IVF. I’m not being naive because I know all the stats of IUI and IVF. I’m just a girl who for 8 months now has longed to see 2 pink lines on the pregnancy test instead of one. I’m the girl who has cried month after month mourning the death of yet another dream to finally one day be pregnant. It’s been a dark, dark road and I see IUI as a gift from God and not something to fret over and be afraid won’t work.

I am going to just pray, and I ask that you join me in praying, that 3 cycles or less of IUI will be all it takes! My goal is to get as many people as possible praying. We have a plaque hanging on our wall in the living room that says “PRAYER CHANGES THINGS”. I believe that with all my heart.

To God be the glory. Great things He has done AND WILL DO!

I’m thankful the wondering of what is going on will be over in just 2 days. I am also thankful the doctor is able to diagnosis a problem instead of doing all these tests and then receiving the diagnosis of “unexplained infertility”. That has got to be hard to swallow.

I know the times of waiting are not over in 2 days, but at least we’ll hopefully be one step closer to a healthy pregnancy.

This past week has been really busy. My last day with the family I have nannied for since September was last Tuesday. The mother has decided it is best for her to stay home with her children and not work. I am sad to say goodbye to the kids but I am very excited they will have their mother at home with them!

Amanda’s moving day was Saturday! We got her all moved in and her house is looking really nice! It is so fun to have her so close. We already had a movie/card night at her house last night! I’m sure we will have many more!

I’m looking forward to the doctor visit on Wednesday. We go at 1:30. The best way to pray for us on this day is that God’s peace would continue to reign in our lives no matter what news we receive.

The appointment with Dr. L was very informative even though we don’t have complete answers yet and won’t have complete answers until Dave’s blood work is back on April 21.

My glucose levels are normal but my insulin levels were high. I am “insulin resistant”. It really is a blessing to find this out now because they say I am at a higher risk of developing diabetes later on in life if something is not done now. For now, I am to do this special diet and I will have to take some medication. The high insulin levels affects fertility and makes me not ovulate as efficiently as I should. So I do have a very mild case of polysistic ovaries which can be treated by treating this insulin problem.

Dave has had two semen analysis done and there was a GREAT difference in the results between the two. Because of this, Dr. L says Dave will need to do another one as a tie breaker. The good news with Dave was that the hormonal production of sperm is normal. What Dr. L is now trying to figure out is the actual sperm count of the ejaculate and the motility of the sperm. Depending on the results, we will know if we are good candidates for IUI, IVF, or IVF with ICSI.

We will go back to Dr. L on April 30th to finally get some answers. And let me tell you I am counting down the days until April 30! Actually, I am going to call tomorrow and ask if there is any way we can be seen sooner since Dave’s results are back on the 21st. If not, I’ll just have to be patient, I know. But it’s worth a try!

So, like I knew going into the appointment today, we don’t really have a treatment plan yet. It was so overwhelming today to try to process all this and understand exactly what he was telling us. But all throughout the appointment and then afterwards and even now, I am at peace because God is Sovereign and in control here. Thanks for all your prayers. I knew all of you were praying today as we went to the appointment. Thank you!

I’ve always known two things in life. 1) I have a great desire to be a mother. 2) Something wouldn’t be right when I try to conceive.

I’ve just always known that I’d have infertility problems. And now that I am facing infertility issues, it is interesting to look back on life and realize I’ve known this all along. Oh sure when an infertility thought would come my way I’d always try to think optimistically and tell myself it won’t be that way. And then I’d think the day a doctor tells me I have infertility issues will just be the most devastating day of my life.

I went for the HSG exam on Wednesday and ended up leaving there with a little more light shed on this situation. S from Dr. L’s office was there and prepped me for the procedure. As she was prepping me she told me my glucose results had come back and everything looked fine but my insulin levels were just a little high. So of course I asked if any of Dave’s results were in. After the procedure was done she left and went to look. When she came back she told me we are definitely looking at a male factor for infertility. She said his sperm analysis had come back abnormal and that was why all the other blood work had been ordered. (I had kinda figured that was why more blood work was ordered.) When she mentioned in-vetro fertilization my heart sunk.

Looking back on that appointment I can see God’s hand all over it. Finally we know the problem lies in the sperm. What specifically the problem is, we still don’t know 100%. Apparently this blood work Dave had on the day I had the HSG exam will shed light on the specific problem(s) with the sperm. We will go for our Treatment Plan appointment with Dr. L on the 9th but Dave received a call today saying the results from the blood work will not be in until April 21st.

Another way I have seen God at work is to hear that IVF may be our only option to conceive. Hearing S say IVF was that devastating day I’ve always dreaded. But interestingly enough, once I worked through it in my mind and had time to process everything, it wasn’t as devastating as I first imagined. I think maybe God is teaching me that I have to accept my circumstances for what they are. I can’t control my circumstances but I can certainly control how I deal with it. And the best thing to do is to accept we have infertility issues and be ok with that. And I can be ok with that because God is in control here. As much as I think I’ve known I’d have infertility issues, God planned for me to have infertility issues and He’s got this whole deal under control.

So as it stands now, we know something isn’t quite right with the sperm and hopefully when we meet with Dr. L on Wednesday he can shed some light on what our treatment options are.
Even though I pray we don’t have to do IVF, I have a peace knowing IVF won’t be easy, but God will be there every step of the way.

I’ll write again after the appointment with Dr. L on the 9th.

Wednesday I have my last test and Dave has more blood drawn. Then on April 9th we will go back to Dr. L to discuss the results of the blood work and tests we have done in this last month. Then, medically speaking, we will finally have some answers as to why we have not been able to conceive. I say medically speaking because I know God is not limited to what any doctor may say. Just last night I was reading the blog of a woman who was told she and her husband had a 5% chance of conceiving on their own. Just before going to the doctor to start treatments to be able to conceive, she found out she was pregnant! Then, before that baby turned a year, she found out she was pregnant again! No, God isn’t held back by percentages.

Regardless of what the doctor says my situation is on the 9th, I ask that you pray with us that God’s will be done and that He ultimately will be glorified in the situation. I will be honest and say that if we are told we can’t conceive naturally for one reason or another, it will be a pretty heavy blow to me. Hearing those words from a doctor has probably been one of my greatest fears in life for as long as I can remember because I’ve always wanted to be a mother. But it will be ok because I know God has a plan and infertility just may somehow be a part of that plan. And that Plan is what I am trying to focus on now because I know it is good. And God is good. All of the time.