In my journey to #2 post someone asked if I would ever consider embryo adoption.
While I really haven’t done much research on embryo adoption and I do not see anything wrong with embryo adoptions at all, it is not something I see us ever pursuing.
If I had a strong desire to experience pregnancy and childbirth, then embryo adoption would probably be something we would be interested in learning more about as we think about adding to our family in the future.
However, strange as it is to even me, the strong desire to experience pregnancy and childbirth that I’ve carried with me since I was a young child, isn’t there any more.
It has been replaced with a strong desire to instead witness the miracle of adoption again as God expands our family.
The only way to describe this is to say that God has changed the desires of my heart.
Sometimes I wonder why He gave me those desires (for pregnancy and childbirth) in the first place. What was the point of all that? And isn’t there a verse in the Bible that says that God gives us the desires of our hearts if we are truly following and seeking Him?
Now that I have seen my life unfold the past three years (wow, it has been 3 years since we started on this journey) I know some things I didn’t know in August of 2007 when we first started trying to conceive.
If I had been told in August of 2007 that I would most likely never conceive ever, I would have been devastated.
Now I know that He put those desires in my heart and took them away as only He could. And all the while He was writing a beautiful story using the pages of my life to tell of a woman who just wanted to marry and have a baby but things didn’t go according to her plan.
Instead, God worked a miracle – another miracle just as beautiful and miraculous as conceiving a baby would have been.
But that wasn’t all.
God transformed my heart as only He can do. He’s made me not only accept the fact I will mostly likely never carry a child in my womb – He has allowed me to embrace it.
And embrace it I do.
I want to adopt my second child with the same intense desire that I wanted to give birth to my firstborn.