During my trek down the road of infertility, I have certainly learned that the presence of God is a very real aspect of this journey. He has been my strength, my comfort, my joy and my peace through it all.
I have also realized another very real presence in my life during this journey.
And that is the presence of Satan.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
While God’s plan, from the start, was a marvelous plan that involved a barren womb and an open heart to the miracle of adoption, Satan has sought to steal, kill and destroy the glory God has received through my infertility from day one.
If you find yourself today still sorting through the muck of infertility (or any other trial in your life), please hear me on this:
Your battle is more than a deep pitted desire in the depths of your heart to see two pink lines on the pregnancy test.
If you are a child of God, the battle you find yourself in is between a God who loves you and has a marvelous plan for your life (in spite the circumstances you find yourself in today) and the Evil One of this world who wants to see infertility destroy you so that your God will seem like a fool.
I began to look at my own infertility in a completely different light when I realized that what Satan meant to use to destroy me, God had planned to use the same exact circumstances in my life to perform a miracle!
It’s all about perspective. God’s perspective.
Once I realized that my pain was an opportunity to allow God’s glory to shine through me, it totally changed my perspective on infertility.
Instead of my inability to conceive being on the forefront of my mind, my focus was shifted to waiting in great expectation for the way God was going to take these miserable circumstances and bring glory to His wonderful name.
Satan hated this. Absolutely hated it.
Satan wanted my focus to be on thoughts such as, “Why do I have to go through this? Why is it taking so long? Friend after friend, family member after family member have gotten pregnant, but here I am, still waiting!”
Satan knew if he could keep my focus on these things, he would successfully tear down my hope in the Lord and destroy my trust in God’s perfect plan for my life that actually did include infertility.
Don’t think for a minute that I sailed through those horrible days with a genuine smile on my face and a totally happy, joyful heart! Just go back and read the posts I wrote towards the end of 2008 and the beginning of 2009. You will find posts where I was extremely angry that I was going through all that. You will find posts where I felt like all hope was lost.
But you will also find posts where God picked me up out of all the muck and spoke straight to my heart so that I would know there was a greater battle going on that went beyond my desire to be pregnant.
Satan wants to destroy you as you walk this road! Don’t let him! He wants your focus to stay on the depths of your despair.
Don’t allow it!
Choose this day to rise above it all in the power and strength that only God can give you.
Determine to put your perspective on this truth:
Your infertility isn’t just a battle between one line or two on the pregnancy tests. It’s a battle between God and Satan. Satan wants your infertility to wreak havoc on your life while God desires to use your infertility to do something in your life that only He can do so that the world can see Him at work in your life.
Let God do His thing and stand back in amazement at how our God can bring good from bad.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
And really, good isn’t a good enough word to describe what God desires to do.
God will do something in and through your life that the English language cannot adequately describe.
The word that best describes what God has done through my infertility is a miracle.
Actually, make that two miracles.