A few posts ago, I wrote about this infertility journey being a “Faith Walk”.
It is a “Faith Walk” on the road of surrender and faith in Jesus Christ.
And as I’ve learned over the past 16 months, even though at times it is scary and frustrating, it is a very good place to be.
Long ago, I had to come to the point of surrendering my will for God’s Will. And through the part of my “Faith Walk” where I went through month after month of negative pregnancy tests and then three failed IUIs, I can now look back on that time and see the purpose.
God was teaching me the invaluable lesson of surrender. He brought me to the place where I was able to say, with confidence in Him, “Not my will, but Yours.”
If I was still thinking things should have worked out my way, I would be stuck in mourning. I would be mourning the pregnancy I should have experience in August 2007 and the baby I should have given birth to in May of 2008, of which would have now made me the mother of a 7-month-old baby.
But no, God had so much more planned! And I praise Him for that!
My faith is in Jesus Christ because as Scripture tells us in Hebrews 11:6, “Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
As I’ve said many times before on this blog, God has lovingly taught me that my infertility goes beyond just an issue of egg and sperm having a hard time joining together.
That is the surface issue.
The deeper issue is there is a God who created mankind for the purpose of receiving glory through them and having a close personal relationship with them.
Scripture clearly tells us that God has ordained for us every day we would live before we ever were born! Which means, even before He knit me together in my mother’s womb, He knew endometriosis was going to be a part of my design.
But that certainly does not mean gloom and doom for me for the rest of my days!
God has taken my endometriosis, my infertility, and used it to draw me closer to Him, which allowed God to teach me to forsake my will for His perfect plan for my life.
Putting my faith in Jesus Christ is the only reason I have HOPE.
I believe with all my heart that if God wills, this time next month, I will be pregnant … that’s the faith part of this “Faith Walk”.
And as I’ve said from the beginning of this blog, I desire, above all, God’s will, for His ultimate glory … that’s the surrender part of this “Faith Walk”.
Faith and surrender … they go hand in hand.