First Ultrasound of Cycle 3

Everything looked great at today’s ultrasound. So we are on to cycle 3 (which is really cycle 2 since we never got to inseminate on cycle 1).

I received the schedule for Cycle 3 which I will post. This cycle will be the most aggressive yet as I am already starting Clomid today. I will also have double the amount of menopur (the drug that aids in multiple follicles growing) compared to last cycle. This just means instead of 1 vial per injection, it will be 2 vials.

Remember, this is all in the hopes that 2-3 follicles will actually mature to ovulation. This will increase our chance of pregnancy, but will also increase our chance of multiples.

I’ll also be posting specific prayer requests soon. We covet your prayers.

A Duck Story

Pastor Paul told this story Sunday.

There once was a town of ducks. Everyone who lived in this town was a duck. One Sunday morning all the ducks waddled to church. They waddled in the front door of the church and waddled down the isle into their pew. The preacher duck waddled to the pulpit to preach. To all the ducks sitting before him as he preached he said, “God has given you wings! You don’t have to waddle! You can soar with wings as eagles and not grow weary!” To this all the ducks in the congregation said, “AMEN!” The pastor duck closed his sermon with prayer and then all the ducks waddled home.

Why do we waddle when we can fly?

I am a Child of God. Which means I have access to my Heavenly Father’s reservoir of love, joy, hope, peace, strength and courage. And yet I can be found guilty waddling in worry, anxiety, fear and hopelessness.

We do not have to waddle our way through the trials of life because…

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40: 29-31

I do not want to waddle through Cycle 3, when I have the capacity to fly through it!

Time to Start Cycle Three

Cycle 3 has begun.

My first ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday and I will have the first shot of this cycle on Friday.

A couple days ago, I was dreading the start of another cycle. This being round three, I know what is ahead of us. And it just isn’t a pleasant process.

When I began thinking about this process from start to finish, I got very overwhelmed. I don’t want to have to ask people to stick me with a needle daily. I hate that I have to ask people to do this for me but I just can’t stick myself with a needle. I don’t want to go to ultrasounds to find out if the drugs are doing their job. I don’t want to worry about semen collections. I don’t want to wonder if everything necessary for insemination day will be ready. I don’t want to go through another agonizing 2-week wait. And I never want to hear the words, “Sorry you’re not pregnant.” again.

Starting another cycle opens the door for any and all of this to happen once again. And even as I type these words, I know I cannot allow myself to think like this.

And so I think like this:

This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

God makes all days. He’s made all my previous days and He will make all my days to come. That’s pretty amazing. But even more amazing is that He knows every little detail of every single day! And nothing, NOTHING, comes as a surprise to Him. Even August 4th? Yep. Even the day I found out cycle 2 was a failure. Didn’t surprise Him in the least bit. In fact, He even planned it that way.

So, this is the day the Lord has made. And fortunately this is the only day I have to deal with. Yesterday is yesterday. And tomorrow is tomorrow. Today is today. And today is all that needs to concern me. So there needs to be no worrying about the 2-week wait when today all I have to do is call the nurse to schedule the first ultrasound.

One day at a time. One piece of this process at a time.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

The last part of Psalm 118:24 is pretty amazing too! “… we will be glad and rejoice in it.” Did you notice that small word in? It changes everything. “We will be glad and rejoice in it.” In it – not after it. We don’t wait and rejoice once we are brought through the storm. No, we rejoice in the storm.

I don’t believe this means we are to throw a party in the midst of a storm in our life, put on a happy face and declare to the world that all is just fine! I believe the rejoicing we are to do is an acknowledgement that God is God and His ways are the best ways. It is knowing in your heart God cares. It is knowing God is at work. It is declaring your trust in a Sovereign God whose plans bring you hope.

And really when you set your heart on these things, you cannot help but feel the joy of the Lord radiate throughout your heart, mind and soul.

And you rejoice. You rejoice that you have HOPE. Hope found in Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ alone.

This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Our Next Step

Today I had an appointment with Dr. L.

I asked him if we could begin being more aggressive this cycle to increase the odds of pregnancy. He said the next step is to superstimulate the ovaries with the goal of having 2-3 follicles that are mature enough to ovulate. While superstimulating the ovaries increases the odds of pregnancy it also, of course, increases the odds of multiples. However, if there are more than 4 follicles mature enough to ovulate, we would cancel the cycle and not inseminate. And, maybe, just maybe, God is indeed trying to prepare me for twins…I’ll explain that in my next post. 🙂

From all my research on the computer and reading other infertility blogs, I had come to the conclusion that even though Dave and I have struggled for a year to conceive, we are tremendously blessed in the simple fact that our infertility issues are minor compared to many of the infertile couples out there. I wanted to discuss this with Dr. L. His response to me was, “I can’t ensure a pregnancy, but I am pretty optimistic about you guys.”

We then began discussing the failed IUI cycle. We were talking about statistics and odds and how there was a 16%-18% chance we would have conceived that cycle when I suddenly said, “Dr. L, I believe God is the creator of life. It’s amazing what you as a doctor can do, but ultimately you can’t create life. Only God can. That is just how we have looked at this failed cycle and it brings much peace.” He looked at me, and with all sincerity said, “You are exactly right.” It made my heart do a flip to know the very doctor who can insert a sperm into an egg through possibly the most complex and aggressive fertility treatment available (ICSI), recognizes that his hands are tied behind his back as far as creating life goes.

Cycle 3 (which is really Cycle 2, since we did not inseminate during Cycle 1) begins approximately September 5th. I chose not to ask detailed questions about the protocol for ovary superstimulation. I’m sure it just means more medications and more shots, but I am in a month of resting now and just didn’t want to deal with all that today!

So, I continue to be still and know that God is God this month. I know He is at work in my life.

Thank you for your continued prayers.