Tired of all the Drama

Today was one of those days where the burden of going through treatments just wears me down.

This cycle has been so different from the other three. So fast. And, consequently, more stressful than the others because everything that has had to come together for this cycle to happen, has had to come together in under a week!

Even though it has been very stressful on me, I have sensed the Hand of God on every aspect of this cycle…the oral drugs, the injections, the follicles and the sperm.

It’s all coming together and it looks like we will be inseminating again on Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning.

At the ultrasound this morning Dr. L said there is a 17mm and 11mm in the left ovary and a 13mm in the right ovary. I will have 2 more vials of menopur tonight to help that 13mm follicle hopefully do some more growing and catch up. Then tomorrow night I will have the hCG shot to induce ovulation.

Technically, this is not the results we were looking for for this cycle. This was supposed to be a megastimulation cycle with the hopes of having 3 or 4 follicles ovulate. Dr. L seems to think that with another day of menopur we’ll have 2 follicles ready to ovulate…even so, not the results I was hoping for.

But, you know, I think of the prayer I prayed on Day One of this cycle…

God, I give this cycle to you. You know everything that needs to come together. You know how many sperm and You know how many eggs. And this time I am going to come before you daily and pray my heart’s desire… that You would choose to let it happen this cycle. Because of everything You have taught me since August 4th, I can rest assured, knowing if You do not choose to let it happen, it is ok. You just have something better planned. Since August of 2007, this journey has been nothing but amazing. I stand waiting with great expectation of what You will do next. To God be the glory. Amen!

Two follicles must be enough!

I started thinking today, How in the world does anyone go through something like this without Christ? Talk about a feeling of hopelessness! Then I was thinking that just because I have Christ through this trial in my life doesn’t mean I won’t have days of frustration and tears…like today.

The difference is HOPE…hope in Jesus Christ. What a gift. What a precious gift.

I leave you with a picture of my “Faith Rocking Chair”. My mom is knitting, stitch by stitch, a “Faith Blanket” that we will wrap our baby in before even leaving the hospital. Yesterday, my neighbor was having a garage sale and this rocking chair was for sale. I bought it and now it sits in the bedroom that will one day be the nursery.

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Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

One day I WILL rock my baby, swaddled in the “Faith Blanket”, in the “Faith Rocking Chair”!!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY

On the Super Fastrack

So Monday I find out I’m not pregnant, two days later I take ten tablets of Letrozole and two days after that (today), I have the second ultrasound.

And what do you know, there are two 15mm follicles in there – one in each ovary. Whoa!! This is only DAY FIVE of this cycle.

They gave me 1 vial of menopur this morning there at the doctor’s office, then I had 2 vials tonight and tomorrow night I will have another 2 vials. Sunday morning at 8am I will have another ultrasound. By early next week, we will be ready for insemination again! Crazy fast!

I think it is very obvious that God has orchestrated the timing of everything. From the very beginning of this journey to today. The “schedule” certainly didn’t have me ready to ovulate only a week into the cycle. But God’s schedule does.

I don’t know what God is up to – I can only go along for the ride. I know He gave me that sense of urgency to go ahead with the next IUI cycle this cycle. And like I prayed on Day 1 of this cycle, I know He knows how many follicles we need and how many sperm. I know now, more than ever, that He is in control here. Not the doctor and certainly not me.

I sense His Presence in all of this. So now I pray:

God, YOU have started this work in me and now I pray You will see it to completion. Amen!

A New Beginning & Prayer Requests # 13

On the very day I found out for sure I wasn’t pregnant, I met with Dr. L to discuss the next cycle. I do not feel God is asking me to wait a month before starting the next cycle this time. Instead, I hear Him saying, “Move forward now!”

So here we are 3 days into Cycle 4.

This was my prayer this morning:

God, I give this cycle to you. You know everything that needs to come together. You know how many sperm and You know how many eggs. And this time I am going to come before you daily and pray my heart’s desire… that You would choose to let it happen this cycle. Because of everything You have taught me since August 4th, I can rest assured, knowing if You do not choose to let it happen, it is ok. You just have something better planned. Since August of 2007, this journey has been nothing but amazing. I stand waiting with great expectation of what You will do next. To God be the glory. Amen!

Prayer Requests #13

  1. Pray that I will continue to surrender my Will for God’s Will because His is a whole lot better than mine!
  2. Pray for Cycle 4, especially in the next week or so as follicles are growing and developing.
  3. Pray the Femara and Menopur will do their job and get four healthy follicles ready to ovulate. **God says one or two is enough.
  4. Pray for it to happen this cycle!

Schedule for Cycle 4 of IUI

Tuesday, September 30 – 1st ultrasound (checking for cysts) **No cysts.

Wednesday, October 1 – Take 10 tabs of Letrozole (to stimulate follicle growth) **Boy did it ever stimulate some follicles!

Friday, October 3 – 2nd ultrasound (to monitor follicle growth) **Already a 15mm follicle in each ovary! Need to come back on Sunday for an ultrasound. Recieved 1 vial of menopur at the doctor’s office.

Friday, October 3Tuesday, October 7 – 2 vials of Menopur daily (to further stimulate follicle growth; our goal this month is 3 or 4 follicles mature enough to ovulate) **Only needed 2 vials of menopur on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.

Sunday, October 5 – 3rd Ultrasound (to monitor follicle growth) **Right ovary: 13mm; Left ovary: 17mm and 11mm

Monday, October 6 – 3rd ultrasound (to monitor follicle growth) **Cancelled. Ultrasound on Sunday instead.

Monday, October 6 – Recieve the hCG shot (to induce ovulation)

Tuesday, October 7 – 1st insemination **Inseminated with 9.6 million sperm.

Wednesday, October 8 – 2nd insemination **Inseminated with 17 million sperm.

Wednesday, October 22 – Blood test **Negative urine test.

Saturday, October 25 – Period still not here. **Negative blood test.