Heavy Heart: Please pray for J

A friend of mine is in the same situation I was in nearly 15 months ago.

J was officially matched with a birth mom (due to give birth to a baby girl in August) on August 3rd.

This morning Baby Girl was born. J met the beautiful baby girl around 3am this morning. She loved on her and held her until leaving to go home and get some rest and to give A (birth mom) some time with Baby Girl.

Later today J received a call from the pregnancy counselor saying that A is having a very hard time with her decision. A isn’t sure if she wants to go through with her adoption plan for her baby or if she wants to parent. A does not want J at the hospital at this time. J will receive a call on Friday from the pregnancy counselor telling her to come pick up her daughter or the counselor will say that A has decided to parent.

My heart sunk when I read her blog.

Such an agonizing place to be. Not knowing just about drove me crazy and the only peace I had was knowing people were praying for me during those agonizing hours of waiting.

Please pray for J’s heart tonight and tomorrow as she waits. Pray for peace. Pray for A as she is also in a very agonizing situation. This part of the adoption process is never easy for anyone.

Birth mom is processing emotions in choosing to give her child up to someone else to raise while adoptive parents sit on pins and needles, hopeful that the pain of waiting to become parents is soon going to be over, and yet guarded knowing that baby isn’t theirs until the birth parents terminate their rights.

I am praying for J tonight believing that God will complete the work He has started. J’s adoption journey is amazing – a miracle, just like every adoption story. God has a way of timing things so perfectly and bringing birth parents and adoptive parents together in such a way that it is so obvious that His hand was on the situation long before anyone was aware of the miracle unfolding.

J’s heart was opened to adoption in November of 2009. J turned in her adoption application on November 10th – exactly 9 months before A went into labor!

Let’s lift J and A up to the Father tonight and pray peace upon all in whatever decision is made over the next two days.

The Latest on Bryan

Things don’t look hopeful. There is still no brain activity at all. The doctor told Joy, his wife, that it will take a “Lazarus miracle” for Bryan to survive this.

Joy’s most recent facebook status is this:

"Just left my precious Bryan, things have progressed, he is on life support for his body, but God is giving me a peace that he went quickly in my dad’s arms on Saturday. Bryan has never been mine for keeps, he loved God before everyone. A Bryan quote for all "There’s a new statistic out on death, 10 out of every 10 people die, Are you ready? Do you know Jesus?”

Please keep praying for a miracle.

And pray that the peace of God will continue to stay with Joy no matter the outcome of this tragic event.

Bryan on July 4th – six days before the accident. Bryan’s son, Benjamin (4) is the boy in the red shirt.


Bryan on THE JESUS BUS – the bus he used for evangelism and the bus he stepped off and crossed in front of before he was hit by the car on July 10th.


This picture depicts who Bryan is. A man who is so passionate about sharing Jesus with others. The following is the quote attached to this picture on facebook:

We were driving by in the Jesus bus and Bryan saw this group of boys down by a lake and of course, being Bryan, he had to stop the bus and run over to the boys. There he is sharing Jesus with them.


Bryan, Joy, Benjamin and TimothyJoy Cornwell Turner

Severed brain stem: Please pray: UPDATE

Yesterday morning, just before 10am, a man by the name of Bryan was in a neighborhood near his church passing out Vacation Bible School flyers when he was struck by a car.

The story is he got out of a van, walked in front of the van and was hit by a car that came from behind the van and could not see him. His body hit the windshield and flew into the air. He was taken to a local hospital where doctor’s told his wife, Joy, that Bryan’s brain stem is severed and there is no brain activity.

Bryan is on life support and for the past two days his family and friends have been praying for a miracle because a miracle is the only hope for him walking away from this.

I know Bryan from my high school days. He was a Bible teacher at the high school I attended.

Bryan is 35 years old, is married to Joy and has two sons: Benjamin who is 4 years old and Timothy who turned 5 months old today.

Tonight on Facebook I found some pictures a lifelong friend of Bryan’s had posted from this past 4th of July. Bryan is all smiles (which is how I always remember him being) and he is setting off fireworks. Who would have known six days later this tragic even would take place, leaving Bryan on the brink of death and a young woman and two young boys in jeopardy of living the rest of their lives without their husband and father?

The answer may seem cliché but it’s the truth: GOD.

Since the accident prayers have flooded the gates of heaven as people have pleaded with God to spare Bryan’s life. The doctor’s have basically said there is nothing they can do and Bryan may continue to live a few days on life support.

But the prayers continue because God is a big God and nothing is too great for Him. He is the one who first knit Bryan’s brain stem together in his mother’s womb and He can do it again.

The question here is not, “Can He?” but “Will He?” and no one knows the answer to that question and so we continue to pray continuously for a miracle.

Please pray for Bryan, his wife, Joy and Benjamin and Timothy. Plead with God with us to perform a miracle and to spare this man’s life.

For nothing is impossible for God.


Right after I wrote this and posted it to my blog, I checked Facebook to see if there was any update on Bryan and there was!

Joy, his wife, wrote on her facebook:

“Bryan has had no change in his brain, but some positives: brain stem is NOT severed. There is pressure to the stem. Specific prayer should be that swelling will completely go away so stem has no pressure and blood can flow."

Please join in prayer that this pressure to the stem will go away so blood can flow.

This is the first positive report I’ve heard since the accident. PLEASE PRAY!!!!!!

Life in the NICU

Life in the NICU is … wonderful.

I know the NICU is the last place a mother wants her baby to be in but God continues to bless Little Bug.

I know life right now could be a whole lot worse and life in the NICU is just fine with me.

Little Bug continues to do wonderfully. I tell every nurse we have that tons of people are praying for Little Bug.

I’d say today has been Little Bug’s best day. You know we were told from Day 1 in the NICU that the best thing for Little Bug is to get her on a routine because babies like her thrive on routine while going through withdrawals. (I’m a firm believer that babies and children in general thrive off structure and routine so this made total sense to me.)

Today I arrived at the hospital around 11am (Dave worked half a day today). I gave Little Bug her 11:30am feeding, held and snuggled with her for a little bit, changed her diaper, swaddled her back up and placed her back in her isolate where she slept until her 3:30pm feeding!

Daddy gave Little Bug her 3:30pm feeding and then I followed the same routine as before and we just left Little Bug sleeping. There are to be no visitors in the NICU during 6:30pm – 7:30pm while the staff undergoes shift change.

During that hour we run home and eat dinner. We will go back around 8pm. Little Bug is going to meet her Uncle Wesley (my brother) for the first time tonight!

Because Little Bug has stayed so calm and has been able to get plenty of rest all her scores have been low (between 3’s and 5’s) – EXCELLENT!!

While a stay in the NICU was certainly not my plan, I must focus on the positives. Little Bug has been in the best place possible as she has gone through what little withdrawals she has gone through. She is already on a feeding/sleeping schedule that will hopefully somewhat continue once coming home. And we have been able to see yet another miracle performed through the life of Little Bug in that she is doing remarkably well.

God’s faithfulness endures forever and ever. The NICU stay is no exception.


Little Bug’s arms were like this when I got to the hospital this morning! This shows her arms are relaxing and are not so tight! Her muscle tone is improving! Keep up the prayers!



Holding my baby girl wrapped in the Faith Blanket her Grandma made her.100_4846


Little Bug has a big sucking reflex due to withdrawals. However, typically the passy soothes her and then it falls out and she could care less! I am so happy about that because I wasn’t too excited about her getting hooked on a passy. Here you can see her using her passy as a pillow.100_4852

Keep praying for Little Bug’s recovery! She must stay in the hospital a minimum of 7 complete days. I was told by her nurse today that if she continues to do this well we may get to bring her home on Wednesday!

There is no doubt in my mind Little Bug is doing so well because masses of people continue to pray. Thank you so much.

URGENT PRAYER NEEDED: 4:30 pm Eastern Time (please see another prayer request I just wrote about)

The birth mom and lawyers are scheduled to sign the paperwork TODAY at 4:30 pm Eastern Time.

Please be praying for a smooth process.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support through these extremely difficult days.

At this point and time, I do not know why all this turmoil was a part of God’s Plan but I know God is in control of everything and it is to Him we give ALL glory.


I have met a woman named Jean at the hospital. Her story is incredible and the way God brought us together is just another miracle in and of itself. I am not able to go into details now but I will at a later time to share with you just another way God has been faithful to us through this journey.

Her baby is in the Step Down NICU unit. There was meconium present at birth and that is why he is now in NICU.

The baby’s name is ETHAN. He is having troubles eating so I am requesting that as you pray for our situation you would lift little Ethan up to the Lord as well and pray he will start eating better very soon.

Thank you!

Update from 2:30pm Meeting

If nothing else, God is using this time to teach me that when I am weak – and I am weak, VERY WEAK – it is then that I am strong in Christ.

I cannot adequately describe to you in words the strength I felt as I walked into the lawyer’s office this afternoon. It was something I have never felt in my life before. It was a strength that was not my own because at that point I wanted to crawl in a hole and say, “Forget it.” But yet I walked in there with strength to deal with whatever came my way.

I cannot go into detail (which I hate) but I can say that we are mainly dealing with control issues from the birth mom.

The counselor gave us incredible insight as to who we are dealing with in the birth mother.

The plan, as of now, is to meet with the birth mom tomorrow at some point and sign the consent around noon (Eastern Time).

I also cannot adequately describe to you the power I have felt in all the many prayers that have been prayed for us in these days.

Just keep praying. We have another night ahead of waiting and wondering what tomorrow holds but our hearts are at complete peace with whatever God wills for tomorrow.

Your prayers are still very much needed tonight as we press on to tomorrow. 

PRAY @ 2:30 PM Eastern Time

We have a meeting at 2:30 pm with the counselor who talked to the birth mom this morning.

Then we will meet with the birth mom to discuss several things.

I feel weak and like I can’t do this and that is good because when I am weak it is then that I am strong in the Lord.

Please pray for strength that can only come from Him.

May the Lord’s Will be done – whatever that may be.


We are just waiting.

It is incredibly hard.

All anyone can do is pray. That is all I have done since I woke up today at 5:30am.

There is just nothing else to do.

I cannot explain the peace I feel. It is not necessarily a peace that the birth mom will sign. It is a peace that I know God has given me to know that HE IS IN CONTROL and no matter what happens I will be just fine (in time).

The largest storm of my almost 28 years hovers around me today but I stand strong in the Lord. He is my rod and shield and He is protecting me today no matter what happens.

I know in part this peace comes from knowing everyone is praying. That is what is so beautiful about God’s Family on earth. We are brothers and sisters in Christ. We hold each other up. We support each other. We pray for each other.

I feel your prayers. Keep them coming.

I will continue to update as I can.

Something more

I want to let everyone know that I am at peace.
This is not to say that it doesn’t hurt. Or that I am not anxious about what is coming next. Or that I am not SO ready to be on the other side of all this.
It means I am at peace in the Lord because I know another month with no pregnancy does NOT mean I am forgotten or that I will never become a mother.
I only know more lies ahead. More than I, or anyone, can imagine.
God did not create life with The Lone Ranger because He has something more incredible than that in store.
This ride isn’t over.
We press on.
I thank you for praying and for your kind comments.
I wish there was some way I could convey to everyone who reads this blog and prays how encouraging it is to me to know so many are truly praying.
Please pray that we will clearly know the direction God is now leading us towards.