A Lady Bug for Little Bug

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A friend of mine from high school came to my baby shower which was incredibly special!

A part of her gift was this little Lady Bug!

I have decided Lady Bug is going to the hospital with us to represent the many, many people out there in the blogosphere who have prayed, cried, mourned and rejoiced with us as we have walked this beautiful journey.

While I would LOVE to have each and every person there who has walked this journey with us, I realize that is just not feasible.

So Lady Bug will be there representing YOU!

Thank you Sarah!

37 Weeks

Birth mom is 37 weeks today.

I am so ready for Little Bug to be here. Now that we’ve reached 37 weeks Little Bug will now be full-term, no matter when she enters this world.

Birth mom was 30w4d when I walked into the lawyer’s office, turned in the paperwork and learned of Little Bug that very day.

That will be seven weeks ago on Thursday.

Seven weeks?

Which means it was only eleven weeks ago today that I lay on that table in the RE’s office and learned our IVF cycle was a complete bust. One measly follicle. One harsh diagnosis. A dream of pregnancy and childbirth crushed.

Who would have thought eleven weeks from then the spare bedroom would be transformed into a nursery, a cradle would be in our bedroom, an infant car seat would be in the back seat of our car and we would be anticipating the arrival of our firstborn?

It will never cease to amaze me how we went from thinking children were still a distant dream for us to being catapulted into parenthood in a matter of one month.

Brings me to a sensitive subject for anyone going through infertility.

There were times (many times) throughout our journey that I despised hearing, “It will happen in God’s Time.” I heard it many times and even though I knew that was right, there were just times that was the last thing I wanted to hear.

I wanted things to happen now! Waiting was so incredibly hard. There were days that seemed like months and months that seemed like an eternity.

But, you know, now as I stand back and look at the entire picture of this journey, I know God’s Timing has everything to do with everything that has happened along the way.

Every heartache, every tear, every failed treatment and every failed pregnancy was leading to one thing: the miracle of Little Bug.

April 9, 2009, will forever be a very special day in our lives. I compare it to someone going through infertility and then finally seeing two pink lines on a pregnancy test. Our lives forever changed in the instant I heard the lawyer say, “We had an adoption fall through this week. If you want a baby in June you can have one!”

April 9, 2009, was our time for Little Bug to enter our lives. All along that was the day. All along it was a matter of faithfully pressing forward to the day that God had ordained from the beginning of time for Little Bug to enter our lives.

I do admit it is getting really hard to wait for that phone call that the birth mom has gone into labor. We have Little Bug in our hearts and we are so ready to have her in our arms.

But, again we will wait for God’s Perfect Timing.

He knows the day and hour that Little Bug will be born.

I cannot even begin to imagine what that day will be like.

Two Year Anniversary!

Today is our 2 year anniversary!

IMG_1255 8x10 FINAL

I thank God for blessing me with a man like Dave.

He is more than what I prayed for.

Just like Little Bug.

God is so faithful and Dave and Little Bug are such a beautiful picture of God’s faithfulness to me.

*****

Birth mom is now 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. She tells me she is still contracting. Today marks 36w3d or 38w4d depending on which due date you go by.

I have resolved that God knows the day and hour Little Bug is to be born and whatever day that is will be just perfect.

Parenting is more than genetics

I am learning this more and more everyday.

Before Little Bug, I couldn’t imagine parenting a child that was not biologically related to me and my husband.

I can remember having a conversation with a friend a long time ago that went something like this:

Friend: “I think adoption is a beautiful thing but I don’t feel God leading us to adopt.”

Me: “Yeah, me neither. I definitely want to be pregnant and give birth to my babies.”

Ha! Now, I seriously just laugh at that statement that came out of my very mouth not too long ago!

I thank God that even though I would love to one day experience the miracle of pregnancy, I am forever grateful that He has allowed me to experience the miracle of adoption.

Adoption certainly does not take away ones desire for pregnancy and childbirth, but I can say, at least for me, that adoption has certainly lessened the blow of the very likely possibility of never conceiving and being pregnant.

And when it comes right down to it, what I really desire is to be a mother and that is achieved through either pregnancy or adoption!

Whether I carried Little Bug in my womb for nine months or if she enters our life through adoption, the end result is the same …

I am her mother and she is my daughter!

On the countdown…

The birth mom spent Thursday night in the hospital for low amniotic fluid levels. After being on an IV all night, she was rechecked in the morning. Her fluids were up and she was discharged on Friday morning.

As of Thursday, she was still dilated between 2-3cm.

Today is 36 weeks (38 weeks if her first due date was right). Either way, we are very close to welcoming Little Bug into the world but this week or two or three or four seem an eternity away because we are so anxious to see her little face. :)

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Please pray

It’s late and I need to be in bed but we need an army of prayer warriors praying tonight/tomorrow.

Birth mom is in hospital tonight for monitoring because of low amniotic fluid levels.

At this point, we are really not sure what is going on.

There is a possibility that birth mom is dehydrated. She is on IV fluids all night. If the amniotic fluids are up in the morning she will be discharged.

If the fluids are still very low in the morning we may be looking at an induction tomorrow.

Please pray. There are many factors that I just don’t have time to get in to right now. So just pray for Little Bug. Pray for wisdom for the doctors and nurses making decisions tomorrow. Pray for the birth mom and pray for us.

THANK YOU!

False Alarm

We had an adventure on Monday night!

The birth mom called me and told me she may be going to the hospital that night because she was contracting about every half hour.

Honestly, I didn’t think much of it since we are still a month away from the official due date.

But sure enough, in the middle of the night, the cell phone rang and it was her saying she was headed to the hospital.

We scrambled out of bed, hopped in the car and drove to the hospital.

On the way there I was just thinking how unprepared I felt because we were thinking we still had about a month to get everything ready. But I soon calmed myself down by telling myself if Little Bug came tonight and everything wasn’t completely ready for her, it will be okay.

At the hospital they hooked the birth mom up to monitors. As she lay on the gurney she asked if I wanted to feel Little Bug move. I put my hands on her belly and felt Little Bug move for the first time!

A nurse soon came in to check her. Low and behold, the birth mom was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced! The contractions were not anything to keep her at the hospital though so the nurse sent her home with instructions to come back if the contractions got to be 4-5 minutes apart.

After 3 or 4 hours at the hospital we went home and crashed. When I woke up the next morning I immediately began a “Get Ready for Baby Frenzy”! I packed our hospital bag, Little Bug’s bag, did two loads of laundry and cleaned the house!

After work my mom went to Babies R Us and bought a pack of diapers, wipes and bottles. Then last night, Angele and Josh surprised us with Little Bug’s car seat! They also are letting us borrow their cradle. Angele’s dad gave us the crib mattress last night!

So … now we’re ready with the essentials and we won’t be caught off guard again!

I think I’ve mentioned before that there have been two due dates. The official one right now is June 14th which makes her 35w3d today. The other due date was May 30th which would make her 37w4d today. I’m thinking the May due date is probably more accurate, but hey, I’m no doctor! :)

In any case, I think it is safe to say that Little Bug will be here sooner than we think! The birth mom has told me she will be here in May. I guess I should trust her instincts because she was right when she called and said she might be headed to the hospital that night!

I’ve got my cell phone on me constantly waiting for THE CALL!