When a couple decides it is “time to conceive” or “time to start growing our family”, they fall into one of two categories.
Either the couple says it is time to start trying to conceive, they time things appropriately and, within a few months, a home pregnancy test comes back “Positive” or the couple says it is time to start trying to conceive, they too time things appropriately and month after month (year after year) goes by and every single home pregnancy test is “Negative”.
It’s the difference between being fertile and infertile.
Statistically, a couple has a five-in-six chance of falling into the fertile category and a one-in-six chance of falling into the infertile category.
Which means, there are way more fertile couples out there than infertile couples.
I believe this simple fact can explain why infertile’s constantly hear things like, “Oh, just relax. Give it time. It will happen!” or “They just need to stop trying and it will happen.”
I believe it is also another reason that the general population’s view of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) is tainted. The general population has never had the need to pursue ART in order to conceive, because, well, they are fertile mertiles! Consequentially, the general population’s knowledge about ART procedures, such as IVF, is greatly influenced by the media and judgmental statements made from ignorance.
I am extremely fortunate to be surrounded by real life family and friends who are extremely supportive of us as we deal with our infertility by seeking God with every decision made. No one has ever said one of the insensitive comments above to me or been judgmental about any decision we have made concerning infertility treatments. To all my family and friends who read this blog, I cannot thank you enough for the love and support you have given us in the past 18 months. Whether you realize it or not, not having to face this part of infertility has only made our journey easier to walk.
The sad reality is I know many of my infertility blogger friends are bombarded by this part of infertility on a daily basis.
So the purpose behind writing this post (and several more that will follow) is my futile attempt to help solve this massive problem because I firmly believe the solution to any problem of ignorance and a distorted view of something is to become educated about the issue from a reliable source.
News Flash: Learning about IVF through what the media has to say about it? Probably not a good idea. Take the most recent story about the California mom who, at the age of 32, had 6 embryos transferred (not “implanted” – a doctor cannot “implant” an embryo into a woman’s uterus) into her uterus, which resulted in all six implanting and two of them splitting to form identical twins. Eight babies resulting and eight babies giving the general population a distorted view of the IVF process.
Contrary to what the media wants everyone to believe, this is not the usual outcome of an IVF procedure performed under the guidelines that are in place to keep something like this from happening.
I am working on a post strictly dedicated to inform whoever might be interested in learning what in-vitro fertilization (IVF) is, step-by-step. If you choose to read this post, by the end, I think it will be very clear that I am not up at all hours of the night worrying if after my IVF procedure I will become the next “Octuplet Mom”. In fact, it wasn’t even worth my breath to even ask Dr. L about the “possibilities of such a high risk birth occurring during my IVF treatment” because I know it won’t. Period. After reading my “IVF 101” post, anyone will see that octuplets are not, under normal circumstances, the product of an IVF treatment (or an IUI treatment done right for that matter!)!
I also plan to write a post about what infertility really is. Again, I think the general public does not realize that infertility is a disease that affects the male and female Reproductive Systems in many various ways making Assisted Reproductive Technology the only option to achieving pregnancy, apart from a miracle of God, for one out of every six couples in the United States of America.
And I plan to write a post about how I believe two different couples suffering from infertility and seeking God in the direction He would have them go can either decide ART is the way God is leading or they could also decide ART is not the way God is leading and neither decision would be wrong if the couple has truly sought God’s Will for their lives in the matter.
Who knows when all three of these posts will be written, but just know they are coming! I pray God will use the posts in some way to help people have a better understanding of IVF and everything that comes with it!