I met my husband, Dave, on January 26, 2006, when he knocked on my parents’ front door for dinner! He was my brother’s new roommate and my mom had invited him over for dinner that night. My dad had been on my case to go to a church that had a “good single’s group” because “you can’t expect your future husband to come knocking on our front door”.
This is probably the only time in history where my father was wrong about anything concerning me.
By the summer we were dating, by fall we were engaged and May 20, 2007, we were married!
A baby by our first anniversary would have been perfection in my eyes. This is where my plan greatly differed from God’s Plan for my life. I was the girl that grew up dreaming of the day she would have babies. Four babies, three years apart each. That was my plan.
As the negative pregnancy tests started piling up, I realized my worst fear in this life was coming true: I was infertile.
God took me on a journey where my dreams were shattered and I was faced with the decision of whether I was going to surrender my life to God’s Plan or if I was going to cling to my perfect plan.
March 8th, 2009, was a day that will forever be imprinted in my memory. I was told on that day that a pregnancy for me would be highly unlikely. My life changed forever upon hearing those words.
I knew in those moments God was closing my womb and opening my heart to adoption. I had to mourn the fact I would most likely never get to experience a pregnancy, but I held strong to the promise of God found in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Adoption is a beautiful thing, but it is first born from adversity, tragedy and loss. I cannot imagine what my life would be like today had I not walked this road. It has forced me to love deeper and trust God with my everything. I have learned that God’s plan is far better than my own plan (Little Bug), God is in complete control (Sweet Pea) and His plans will prevail (Sarge).
God desires a surrendered heart. My infertility journey brought me to my knees and that’s where I discovered miracles happen. I had to give it all to Him. My desire for pregnancy, my desire for four children, three years apart. God brought me to a place where I had to choose to surrender to Him or choose to do things my way.
Through the pages of this blog, you will read about my struggles to surrender, the journey I walked through infertility and the adoptions of my three children. I can tell you this with absolute certainty: God has been faithful through it all. Faithful in astounding ways.
It’s been pretty quiet around God’s Faithfulness Through Infertility for the past two years. The time has finally come for me to write the next chapter of God’s Faithfulness.
It is the story of Sarge, but it is also so much more. I will tell his story through a series of posts titled: Through the Lens of Grace.