She did not place.

While this has been a very difficult week, our hope and trust is in the Lord.

We both feel tremendous peace that can only come from God.

Thank you for your faithful prayers.

URGENT Prayers

This situation continues to become so dark. Her actions aren’t making sense….until this morning and it is going to take an act of God to turn her heart.

We believe we are dealing with a case of human trafficking. Based on her actions & responses to our solutions to her “problems”, this is the only thing that makes sense.

There is a spiritual war over the soul of this innocent child and all we can do is plead the blood of Jesus over this child for his safety. Plead the blood of Jesus over this woman & that she would not be able to go through with this.

Please pray and get every prayer warrior you know to pray.

It’s all for His glory

Telling Emily (adoption agency) what I told her was so freeing. Yesterday & today have been so incredibly hard, waiting. The waiting was physically affecting me today to where I was having to tell myself to breath so I wouldn’t have a panic attack or literally go insane. (I know that sounds crazy, but that is where I was.)

Telling Emily not to call unless she has signed made “the wait” disappear and there was instantaneous peace. I was able to get up, go out and see my children & somewhat feel human again.

The pain is deep and it is hard to make sense of anything. But there are a few things I know.

I was dreading the “48 hour wait” more than anything with this adoption process. Having done this 3 other times, I remember clearly the agony the waiting is. Apart from waiting on news about the health of one of my children, family or friends, I cannot imagine anything more agonizing to wait on! It is pure emotional torture.

I hoped God would allow the signing to be a smooth, easy process, but at the same time, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wouldn’t be.


Because with this current scenario, we are pretty much in a situation where we are at the mercy of God to ACT on behalf of this innocent child and intervene and DO ANOTHER MIRACLE to place him in our home.

I may know THAT but I am NOT God and ultimately I DON’T know what God’s plan is for this child and our family. Maybe He is going to use these crazy worldly circumstances to intervene in a way that we will all clearly know GOD is GOD. Or maybe He has another plan for our family that we are unaware of today.

Either way, I can guarantee you this: God will receive the glory!!!

If there is anything I have learned over the past decade from the moment my dream of pregnancy was stripped away, it is that God uses our trials and tribulations in this broken world to bring Himself Glory so that others may come to know and trust in Him as well.

And where does this leave little ol’ me? I am a complete disaster today, for certain, but ultimately I know my place in this: surrender. And, I am getting there, slowly but surely.

God is either going to perform another miracle in bringing THIS baby to us OR He is going to show Dave & myself a new direction. You better believe I have begged God not to hand me the “failed adoption” card, but ultimately, I want His will.

That’s what surrender is all about. I can’t see where this is going right now, but I KNOW God is faithful and, no matter what happens today or next week or never, BIG THINGS ARE COMING.

God hasn’t brought us this far to drop us on our heads. He will show me the way through this trial just like He has always done in the past.

We wait on the LORD.


She is MIA once again and not following through with the plans she makes. We have told our agency not to call us again UNLESS she has actually signed. The emotional turmoil is too much and, at this point, we are assuming this is not our child.

Urgent Prayers

We are in the middle of major drama.

Major drama is when God can best receive glory, so we are waiting on the Lord and trusting in Him in this time.

Please pray for everyone involved.

Blog Name & Prayers Needed

I wrote all the names on our white board.DSC03684

You will notice some that were not on the comments of the other post. Those came to me through text messages.

Dave & Little Bug voted for Cowboy while Sweet Pea & I voted for Beau.

Then, Sarge was the tie breaker. I laid out the vanilla toy ice cream cone (Beau) and the strawberry toy ice cream cone (Cowboy) and told him to get one.

He picked vanilla!

(This was my attempt to chase him down and get a picture of him with the vanilla ice cream)DSC03688

So Baby 4’s blog name will be…


A dear friend text me the idea of “Beau”. It stands for Beauty because God has taken ashes and made beauty in more ways than one during this journey.

Please step up your prayers for us this coming week and pray for a peaceful process.

I will be back with an update as soon as I can.

This is the baby doll I bought when we were waiting for Sweet Pea. I would tell Little Bug I had to “feed the baby”, “change the baby” to get her used to the idea that I would have to care for the baby as well as her. I brought it out again last week and started doing the same with Sarge. This boy is a big Mama’s boy and he isn’t so sure about this baby doll, although he loves to crawl up in the chair with me while I am “feeding” the doll. Then he proceeds to stick his little finger in the doll’s nose and eyes. That’s a promising interaction right there!


I keep referring to this baby doll as “his baby”. Even at under two years old, I want him to know Baby Beau will be our baby to love and hold.

Baby 4 Blog Name

I’m stumped!

What should Baby 4’s blog name be??

For those that do not know, I do not use the real names of my children on the blog.

We have:

Little Bug

Sweet Pea


What should Baby 4’s name be?

(It is a boy)